Mama Drama

Need advice on how to handle parenting challenges? Don’t we all! This column tackles YOUR behavioral and medical questions. Also find tips on healthy living.

Why Kids Lie and How to Handle It

We’ve all experienced it. That moment when our innocent and obedient child looks us square in the eye and lies to us for the first time. I remember it well. I was snuggled next to my twelve-year-old daughter, Jordan, watching Frozen for the fifty-seventh time. Suddenly, right as Prince Hans was about to reveal that he was not a handsome Prince at all, but a psychopath with sideburns, Jordan yawned and excused herself, saying she was “really tired.” I didn’t think anything of it and continued to watch with rapt attention, when my husband who has Spidey senses came over to me and whispered, “She took her phone up to her room.” We checked the charging station to find that the phone was gone, we discussed our plan of action, then went up to her room to confront her. As I peeked int...

How can I expand my picky eater’s palate?

Dear Mama Drama: My two-year-old won’t eat anything, but macaroni and cheese. I’m afraid to give him other things because if he doesn’t eat it he’ll be hungry. I see other children, even younger than him, eating a wide variety of foods. I am amazed that they will eat things like tofu and vegetables. How can I get my son to eat a wider variety of foods? ~Scared of starving Dear Scared: Many children have difficulty expanding their food choices once they have found a favorite food. Macaroni and cheese, PB & J, and mashed potatoes are common favorites. They may like the texture, smell, or associate a positive experience with that food. However, we have to offer them other foods on a regular basis if we want them to make other choices. Our job as parents is to provide healthy options for o...

My husband’s affair: How I’m doing seven years later

In 2018, I turned 40. For my birthday, I hiked myself to the top of Courthouse Peak. I paddled Silver Jack Reservoir. I took myself out to dinner and then I camped in my truck near Yankee Boy Basin. The next day, I joined several friends for an adventurous hike to the Opus Hut. We ended up lost, scrambled down a scree slope and collapsed at the hut with wine and birthday celebrations. I just knew that 40 was going to be freaking fantastic. I am now on the cusp of turning 43. I can attest that every year of my 40s, not just the first one, has been freaking fantastic. My 40s have been full of adventure and career changes and leaps of faith. Mostly though, as cheesy as this sounds, my 40s have been full of gratitude. From 2014, when I discovered my husband’s affair until 2017, when I finally ...

4 Tips to Help Denver Children Cope with Hard Things

The prolonged nature of the pandemic and hard things has brought chronic levels of stress and anxiety to many families. Though there appears to be an end in sight, we have a long way to go before things are back to normal. In these confusing times, we must be cognizant of how heightened stress and loss can impact the children in our lives. As the Program Director for the Kempe Center’s Trauma-Responsive Implementation and Practice, I have spent much of my career helping children, families and childcare professionals respond to these sorts of high-stress, traumatic situations.  Helping Kids Cope with Hard Things If your child is impacted by this adversity, here are some tips on how you should support and respond to your child’s needs in these difficult times:  Be calm and speak ca...

Do different parenting styles cause problems? What you can do to help your relationship

  Disagreements and parenting – two things that seem to hit just about every parent. The question is does it have to cripple your relationship? Does believing in time-out vs. sticker chore chart really need to be something that after years of not being resolved causes divorce?    Nope. It doesn’t. Let’s talk about why disagreements in parenting style happen in the first place. As parents from totally separate families, the first thing that happens is we get raised by our parent’s values, their discipline styles, and their temperaments which then in turn shape us. If it worked for us….we tend to duplicate it. If it didn’t we tend to avoid it.  Another thing that impacts our parenting styles is our own temperament. Can you listen to your toddler sc...

Conflicts Over Parenting Styles? How to keep your differences from hurting your kids

At some point, most couples are going to differ on how to approach parenting. “I think in almost every family you’re going to find some disagreements,” says Dr. Alan Ravitz, a child and adolescent psychiatrist. “In my own family I know there were times when I thought my wife was too harsh and there were times when she thought I was too easy.” The important thing is to present a united front. “You shouldn’t disagree in front of the child,” he says. “You should disagree behind closed doors.” This becomes especially challenging when parents develop extreme differences in their approaches to parenting-particularly when the child or children are struggling with a psychiatric diagnosis or a learning disability and treatment decisions need to be made. In these situations, the parents’ ability—or ...

The Top 14 Parenting Violations from a highway dancing Colorado mom

In a recent Colorado snowstorm, my kids and I found ourselves stuck in traffic for almost five hours due to a horrible blizzard that left many motorists stranded.  My poor son, Nathan, was completely stressed out and my daughter Jordan, was bored out of her gourd, so I decided to lift their spirits. We hadn’t moved in over four hours and so spontaneously I seized the once in a lifetime chance to dance on the interstate. I cranked up the radio which just happened to be playing “Everybody! Rock Your Body” by the Back-Street Boys. Within a few days of posting the video on Facebook, friends from all over the nation were telling me they had seen us on the news, and within three days we were making news stations around the world! “Inside Edition” “The Today Show” and even Nick Carter from t...

Dangers of Denver’s Roads: RAGE

ROAD RAGE. It’s estimated that nearly 80% of all drivers have experienced an extreme level of anger while driving. For the second time in five days, I’ve been involved in a frightening road rage incident in Denver. Sadly, this morning the offender caused a terrible accident in a busy intersection throwing a vehicle from oncoming traffic into my neighbor’s yard. My daughter, on her way to school, was horrified. Thankfully, a kind lady walking her dogs came over to help calm her from frantic tears. The offender had pulled up behind us, honked, inched forward a couple of times aggressively, then zoomed around us. We had been waiting for a safe break in traffic to turn left. It all happened fast, and I tried to give the offender a warning, but it was too late, and we had to watch the collision...

Reaction to Matt Lauer’s termination over sexual misconduct

The world woke up to the grim news that Matt Lauer, beloved anchor of “Today” for two decades, was fired by NBC News after a detailed complaint about inappropriate sexual behavior in the workplace. I was horrified to hear the accusations surrounding Harry Weinstein but I had zero personal connection to him.  Like so many people, I’ve been watching Matt Lauer on morning TV for years. Though I admit I was devastated to hear the news, my initial reaction then turned to disappointment and anger. How could he?   Denver mom Julie Marsh made this poignant observation: It isn’t “sad” that Matt Lauer was fired. Mouse away from the teary-faced reactions, and think about how we are FINALLY coming to grips with inappropriate behavior that devalue...

Rewards and Bribery, Aren’t They the Same?

That’s the question I most often hear after I introduce the concept of rewards to improve behavior. Some parents are resistant to the idea because they assume rewards and bribes are synonymous. They aren’t. There’s actually a huge difference. Rewards improve behavior while bribery can make it worse. Here’s why. Children learn at an early age to act in certain ways to accomplish their goals. Generally, kids want more of something desirable (cookies, attention, bedtime stories) or to avoid unpleasant stuff (carrots and baths). The way they’ve learned to achieve all that is through whining, complaining, throwing a tantrum, pushing buttons and negotiating. Parents are often so frustrated by these behaviors that at the minimum they admonish and provide lots of attention to the child. And at wor...

7 tips to stop nagging your kids

Dear Mama Drama: I am so tired of nagging my kids to do what they’re already supposed to do. How can I motivate them without constantly nagging? Sticker rewards worked when they were younger but now that they’re getting older, nothing is working. ~Nagged Out Dear Nagged Out: When our children are younger we provide lots of structure and supervision for their daily routines. As they get older and develop more independent skills, we tend to relax these and are often surprised to find ourselves nagging constantly. Nagging tends to undermine all that independence we worked so hard for our children to gain. It tells them we don’t really think they can do it and removes any motivation to remember on their own since they know we’ll remind them anyway. It also creates barriers in our r...

What To Do When Your Kids Fight

Sibling rivalry is inevitable.  In fact, in the 2-4 age group, kids will have some kind of fight every 6.3 minutes.  That is almost 10 fights an hour! What can parents do to help resolve sibling conflict and form deeper bonds between their children?   Kids in the House shares 4 expert tips on how to help your kids get along:   1.     Never compare your kids The number one issue that causes lasting resentment between siblings is parental comparison.  When a parent compares one child to another, what that child understands is that they are not good enough. This creates conflict between siblings and can increase tensions in the household. 2.     Do not tolerate sibling bullying Sibling bullying is the most common type ...