Pregnancy Not Your Thing? You’re Not Alone
I’m 34 weeks pregnant with Baby #1, and it’s taken me an hour to get the first sentence of this story typed. I blame the restless legs, heartburn, aggressive kicking, baby brain, aching lower back, tiny feet stuck under my ribs and grumbling stomach all caused by this 5 pound tiny human squished in my uterus. While I’m not ungrateful and I don’t love my unborn child any less than other women, I’m going to be honest and admit that I don’t love being pregnant. Gasp!
Over the years I’ve heard many of my friends gush about their pregnancy and about how magnificent each step was and how beautiful they felt. They loved it! Perhaps you have a few friends like that? The ones who talk about how thick and shiny their hair is, the glow of their skin, how each kick they feel is the most earth shattering feeling they have ever felt and how their sex life is better than ever. If you are one of those women, congratulations! I say, Bulls..t.
After a battle with infertility and a severe case of ovarian hyper stimulation (a rare side effect of fertility drugs) my husband and I were fortunate to get pregnant! Besides the physical pain of getting pregnant, there was emotional pain. I started the pregnancy carrying twins and by the end of the first trimester only one remained. Doctors call it a “vanishing twin”, in non-doctor terms I miscarried one of our babies.
We worked hard to start a family, just like so many other couples and I can’t wait to meet him. And after what we have been through, for anyone to think I am an ungrateful “soon-to-be” mom, they are crazy.
While I miss wine, sleeping on my stomach, sushi, being comfortable doing anything, a solid night of sleep without using the bathroom 6 times, 5-inch heels, running, strangers leaving me alone, whiskey, non-itchy belly and boobs, my clothes, being able to tie my shoes, hot yoga, my “innie” bellybutton and raw cookie dough, it’s a small sacrifice to pay to grow this tiny human that I will love and cherish every second of my life.
But, I don’t have to pretend to like every step of the process of creating this human in my belly or defend myself to others for saying so. After all, no one gets pregnant to be pregnant. You get pregnant to have the blessing and adventure of raising a child.
Elissa Sungar is the Co-Creator of If Not You, Who? a free website that offers easy and fun in-home educational activities that help prepare children for kindergarten and life. Her passion for early childhood education grew out of her experience as a pre-school teacher at Stanford University’s Bing Nursery School. Elissa loves hiking, running, tennis, yoga, cute workout clothes, good cheese, great baked goods and exploring Denver! Twitter: @ElissaINYW