**CONTEST CLOSED**

The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children, by local author, Steven Vannoy describes the simple tools he used to transform himself, his parenting style, and his family (as well as the lives of countless others around the world). The book opens with the story of how Vannoy goes from having a successful Denver business, to losing it all – splitting his time sleeping on a park bench and on a soiled mattress in a friend’s filthy basement.

From that desperate state, near suicide, he gained clarity that he had a choice to be a good father:

“It was such a profound revelation for me to finally comprehend the connection between the qualities and values we give our children each and every day and the control and responsibility they need to shape and define their lives today and in the future. I knew that if my daughters didn’t get these gifts as they were growing up they could end up in a miserable, painful, unfulfilling life. And I loved those little girls far too much to let that happen…”

To be a good father would require some thought, and tools. And it’s never about fixing parents: it’s about activating simple tools they already know. Vannoy assembled five tools that would allow him to focus on what was working and creating solutions in families (vs. focusing on problems). These tools: Forward Focus, Messages, Teach, Listen and Model are fundamental tenants that support the 10 Gifts.

What do they all have in common? They allow people to parent from the heart.

How might our families, classrooms or neighborhoods be different if we did the following every day:

• Focus on what’s going well, your family’s accomplishments and pleasures and anticipation of good things to come, knowing you can solve problems that come up.
• Give enhancing and empowering messages. Catch kids being good and acknowledge and celebrate even the smallest behavior that’s part of your vision for them
• Teach through discovery, letting each child learn his own best path
• Listen with full attention to your child’s thoughts and feelings and stories.
• Model your own sense of worth, your own power to consciously choose what you focus on, how much you have to share with your family and the world.
Here’s a tool from the book to try at home – the Recipe for Partnership. With your spouse or family, ask this series of questions:
• What’s working?
• What’s creating that?
• What outcomes are most important for us and our family?
• What are some things we can do to create even greater value for our relationship/our children?
• What can we do moving forward to create even more of this?

To read the rest of Vannoy’s story and to learn more about these insightful tools, The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children is available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.

BONUS: Download a free 10 Greatest Gifts Study Guide in the “Resources” section of the book’s website.

Contest

Mile High Mamas has five copies of The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children. Please go here to enter. Contest deadline is September 20, 2012.