How Crafty Are You? Take The Quiz
In the 1970s, moms were macrame and Mod Podge maniacs. In the 80s, papier-mâché made them proud. Today, there is no crafty medium moms aren’t drooling to try. The more picture-worthy, the better. Every minor holiday, movie opening, and observance is suddenly elevated to Christmas Feast status by moms hungry to impart meaning, beauty, and to keep little hands from becoming idle—and her own. Craftiness is next to Godliness—or, it at least gives us the ultimate compliment: Pin-worthiness. But how can you tell if you are a little too devoted to your hot glue gun and sewing machine? Here’s a quiz that will tell you where you land on the scale.
1. Your fingernails are usually:
a. Hand-model worthy.
b. Short, stumpy, sensible, and safe.
c. Caked with trapped glitter and Aleen’s Original Tacky Glue.
2. Spray paint is best used for:
a. Tagging your territory on highway underpasses at 3am.
b. Jazzing up vintage knick-knacks and furniture found while thrifting.
c. Giving the shelves in the garage something to do.
3. Your hot glue gun is kept:
a. In a bin on a shelf above the washing machine.
b. Bwahahahaha. Hot glue gun?
c. In a holster.
a. Must be baked in colorful, whimsical papers, decorated beautifully, arranged on a cupcake tower, photographed, and taste like sidewalk chalk.
b. Are mostly for kid’s birthday parties at school.
c. Nom-nom-nom, chew-chew-chew, do I have buttercream on my cheeks? Oops, I have crumbs in my bra!
5. Let’s assume you have a sewing machine. You can thread it:
a. Only after consulting your mom or while thumbing through the owner’s manual.
b. With your feet, sitting backward, while watching the most gripping Downton Abbey episode as you shout at Thomas and O’Brian.
c. In your nightmares because Martha Stewart is choking you with a gumdrop wreath.
6. You notice Arbor Day is less than a month away:
a. Arbor Day? I am still recovering from Halloween.
b. Entertain the idea of planting a fruit tree.
c. Panic! Invitations to the party must be designed and stamped with carved potatoes. You still need to make the “pin-the-leaf-on the tree” game, the banner, order the favors from Etsy, make a clearing in a nearby forest, brew root beer in tiny bottles with personalized labels, and hire a local band to play Arbor Day anthems you composed using Garage Band.
7. When your children look for you, they find you:
a. At the computer looking for “inspiration” and “ideas.”
b. Lingering in the bathroom because you have one more bite to take of a secret snack cake.
c. They don’t look for you because there you are, across the table encouraging them to glue sequins to something very random so you can put it on your blog.
8. You divide your life into eras:
a. Childhood, teenage years, college, career, marriage, kids, (not necessarily in that order and maybe overlapping.)
b. Knitting, embroidery, decoupage, quilting, crochet, sewing, baking, origami, printmaking, needlework
c. Before owning a smartphone and after.
a. Are birds that dwell in trees in areas where small rodents are plentiful.
b. Are the most awesome motif and can be used on shirts, pillows, calendars, wall-hangings, paper arts, ornaments, whittled out of oak, painted on pottery, appliqued on tote bags, made out of felt and stuffed, on iPhone and Kindle cases, backpacks, lunch bags, tea towels, coffee mugs, coverlets, embroidered on Christmas stockings, woven out of wicker, formed out of 2,000 sequins into a mosaic, screen-printed on multiple canvases in different colors and hung together in the shape of an owl.
c. Are creepy.
10. Can you access 10 pipecleaners, 5 wooden beads, a yard of calico, 14 popsicle sticks, a purple feather, 2 skeins of wool, green embroidery thread, and a bottle of Mod Podge RIGHT NOW?
a. Maybe 50% of those items
b. No way, no how, but I can find a rubber band and a Sharpie if you give me 20 minutes.
c. Here. Now watch me fashion a kick-butt owl.
1. a = 0, b = 2, c = 4
2. a= 2, b = 4, c = 0
3. a = 2, b = 0, c = 4
4. a = 4, b = 2, c = 0
5. a = 2, b = 4, c = 0
6. a = 0, b = 2, c = 4
7. a = 2, b = 0, c = 4
8. a = 2, b = 4, c = 0
9. a = 2, b = 0, c = 4
10. a = 2, b = 0, c = 4
0 – 12 : You are Craftphobic! Consider branching out and expanding your hobbies to include the handmade, creative arts. Your kids will love it and you might find the spray paint you normally use to claim underpasses as yours looks awfully nice on a ceramic elephant.
14 – 28 : You are Crafty-balanced! Congratulations! You embrace the pretty and handy in life because it’s fun and not an obsession. You have a life outside the craft room while still blessing the universe with your gifts and talents. And I bet your cupcakes taste as great as they look.
30 – 40 : You are Craftcrazy, and not in a good way. The fumes from spray adhesives and the eye-strain from hand-stitching could be making you into a bore who can only walk, talk, and eat the next big crafty idea. Try going outside and looking for a real owl. Or an underpass.