Last year my daughter came home from school and told me one of her friends “locked her out” or wouldn’t let her play. It happened the next day and the next. I asked, “Do you really think she’s a good friend?”

“Yes,” she insisted.

Suddenly, my whole life flashed before me. How many times had that happened to me? I hated to see her play with girls who weren’t kind. I knew how that felt.

And then I stumbled upon a wonderful book called Have You Filled A Bucket Today? The book compares our happiness or discouragement with a full or empty bucket. It talks about how we can say nice things to others and that fills their bucket! If we say rude things, it dips out their bucket.

In turn, if others say nice things or rude things, our own buckets can be filled or emptied. It’s a sweet book with lovely examples of real life.

The book helped my daughter take responsibility for her own behavior, kind or unkind. It took the focus off of the other girl as the truth is that we can only be responsible for our own behavior.

She began hanging out with different kids. It helped to have a metaphor to discuss the way she or others acted.

I write this post thinking about going back to school, new friends, old friends and the issues that always arise. If you have preschool aged kids, Fill A Bucket is a version written especially for them.

I hope this helps you as much as it did for our family. What has worked for you?

*image from Amazon.com