Top 10: How you know your husband is obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin
With Mother’s Day behind us, let us turn our attention to the men in our lives. I adore mine. He is a doting husband, attentive father and brilliant businessman. The only weakness I’ve found in him happens to weigh 1,000 pounds* and consumes most of his spare time.
So in honor of him and fathers everywhere:
Top 10: How You Know Your Husband is Obsessed with Growing The Great Pumpkin
10) You sneak up on your husband on the computer and the only lurid sites you have to worry about him viewing are BigPumpkins.com and his pumpkin blog DenverPumpkins.com.
9) While most people are making their pilgrimage to the local garden center with the intention of planting food they can eat, your husband is prepping the soil for his inedible 1,000-pound fruit.
8) During the off-season, your husband has a grow room reminiscent of certain other sketchy growers.
7) a)Your family vacations are planned around The Great Pumpkin and you are banned from taking trips during the two-week pollination period. b) He refuses to join you on a family vacation to visit HIS family because it means too much time away from The Great Pumpkin.
6) Your husband builds hoop houses that contain heaters to shield The Great Pumpkin from the early-season weather.
5) Your husband carries around a digital temperature gauge and even sleeps next to it so he can constantly monitor the temperature in the hoop houses.
4) The only designer item you possess from Italy is his hail netting.
3) You become a widow for the duration of pumpkin season as your husband spends at least an hour a day and many weekends in the patch.
2) Your husband convinces you to invite all your friends to have a Pumpkin Party to commemorate the official vine cutting. And they like it.
1) You discover the most random things, in the most random places. From this in your guest bathroom window….
To your nice dinner plates covered in muck on the floor of your car. And when you confront him?
“Jamie, can you please explain why there were dirt-covered plates in my car?”
“Yeah, because I put dirt-covered plates in your car.”
At least he’s not in denial.
What is the father/husband/significant other in your life obsessed with?
*If you’re just tuning in to this saga, be sure to read Sordid Secrets and the Husbands Who Keep Them.
lol – BigPumpkins.com. That could go one of two ways. Glad to hear he has the hail netting. Hopefully no repeats of last year!
LOL–obsessed indeed. Still laughing about the hoop houses and the temperature gauge!
For the life of me I couldn’t figure out why he was so fascinated by the weather and why he would sleep with a temperature gauged beside him.
I was not surprised to find out the reason!
I kept expecting to read “his wallet contains pictures of his children as well as his pumpkins”.
You’re a good wife for sharing him with the garden.
I’m sure my husband isn’t obsessed with growing pumpkins. They can’t all be Jamies.
Holly–Whew–good to know.
Melissa–Gone is the age of wallet pictures. You’d better believe his iPhone is 99% full of pumpkin pictures.
When I sneak up on my husband surfing the net, he’s drooling over pictures of Mustangs. None have scantily clad women draped over them – whew!!
Very funny list. I think next General Conference the Brethren might speak on pumpkin addictions.
Pumpkin addictions, indeed!
And at least the mustang is without scantily-clad women!
My husband is obsessed with Cars. When Car and Driver arrives in the mail my heart sinks because I know that our conversation that evening will consist of him handing me the magazine and insisting I read an eloquently written article about some hot or not so hot car. While driving down the road he will randomly yell out “OH man! Did you see that?” My response is always “Um no…I don’t have CAR RADAR built into my brain like you do.” And for a hot date night activity….we get to test drive cars that we have no intention of buying. Yup. He’s obsessed. On a side note however, now while driving down the road if my father (who is not a car guy at all) asks what kind of car is in front of us I can tell him the make, model, year and everything that was upgraded from the previous years model and what we don’t like about it. Sad.
I guess if you’ve got to share your husband’s affection, it might as well be something that’s rotund and weighs a half a ton.
Biking. My husband’s current obsession is cycling. He’s always on weather-alert, too. Bonus: no dirty out-of place plates.
I am not kidding…whenever I see a pumpkin I think of the two of you.
Cars, biking. They all seem to have something, don’t they?
My husband is obsessed with real estate. He collects real estate magazines everywhere we go and spends his time on realtor.com. Sometimes he says he’s going to take our daughter for “a drive” and later find out he was scoping out neighborhoods we’ll never move to. He calls realtors and asks them questions, pretending to be in the market. I have no idea why – we’re not buying a new house any time soon! But, like Jamie, his is at least a harmless obsession!
Real estate? Now that is a new one. Tooooo funny. At least when you’re finally ready to move, you’ll know it will be thoroughly researched.
So what I’m wondering is, does he have a blue baby blanket that he carries around with him all day?
Definitely not. The blanket would be orange.