Relationship dynamics–what are yours?
This may come as a surprise to you but I can be high-strung.
Or maybe this is not so shocking to those who know me.
I married a great man who is easy going. I have known from the get-go part of what makes our relationship work so well is how we balance each other out.
* I blog.
* I love eating pumpkin.
* He grows giant pumpkins.
* He blogs about his pumpkins.
See? Match made in heaven.
But it wasn’t until our recent ski trip to Keystone that I had an epiphany about it all. We had arrived at the resort and were unloading the car to check-in. As usual, I was stressed about something. Because that is what I do. And as usual, he tried to calm me down.
I have just accepted that this is the dynamic of our marriage. Sometimes I am appreciative. Other times, it annoys me. What if I don’t want to calm down? What if I am completely validated in freaking out over this?
But last week, I was struck with gratitude that he always talks me off the ledge. And I wondered what my life would be like if I married someone who was not a calming influence in my life. Someone who fueled the fire instead of harmoniously extinguishing the flames.
It would not be pretty.
I have been in relationships like that. I once dated a guy who was exactly like me. I know–it is alarming that this is possible. His strengths were my strengths, his weaknesses were the same. We were both journalists, loved the outdoors and were passionate souls ready to conquer the world. In the beginning, we were on such a high–we were the perfect match. I was so thrilled: I was dating myself!
But then we hit the wall. We didn’t compliment each other in the least. We didn’t learn from one another nor grow together.
And then I woke up with dread one morning: I was dating myself.
Worst. Thing. Ever.
And so I am putting this out to you: if you are in a relationship, what is the dynamic? What works, what doesn’t? What have you learned from past relationships?