Mama Blogger of the Month–Lori from Weebles Wobblog
[photopress:Lori_MHM.JPG,full,pp_image]Lori of Weebles Wobblog is not only our Mama Blogger of the Month but was recently named as Mile High Mamas’ newest Mama Blogger. Lori has had a long journey to motherhood and we are thrilled to have her as a regular fixture on the site. Join us in welcoming her to Mile High Mamas!
Moms have different paths that lead to motherhood. Tell us about your struggles with infertility.
To this day I cringe when I hear a wide-eyed newlywed say, “We want to have a baby in June, so we are going to get pregnant in September!” I remember when we thought we had that much control. Many people do. Turned out we didn’t.
Ultimately, we had to decide whether we wanted to be pregnant or whether we wanted to be parents.
At what point did you decide to turn to adoption?
What some might see as very unlucky, I saw as incredibly lucky: the signals were very clear for us that having a biological child just wasn’t gonna happen.
After one round of fertility treatments (with devastating results), we had only the emotional and financial reserves to do one. more. thing. So we had to pick the right thing. With the odds we were given, our way was clear: adoption.
I am so glad we didn’t string ourselves along any further.
[photopress:hands.jpg,full,pp_image]Tell us about your family.
I met and married Rob, the funniest (think Mike Myers), the most handsome (think Nick Lachey), and the smartest (think Bill Clinton with impulse control) man in the whole world. (Sorry, ladies. Y’all’s husbands — and Mitch McDad — can vie for second place.)
Tessa, 7, is the self-proclaimed Boss of The World. She could have a bright future as a QVC hostess, as she could sell moose jerky to Sarah Palin . Within 38 seconds of meeting Tessa, she’ll have inventoried the entire contents of your purse. Warning: you may not get back your lipstick, keys or cellphone.
Reed, 5, is one of those elusive peaceful warriors. While he turns every imaginable object (chicken nugget, hairbrush, booger) into a sword or gun, he is also quick and generous with hugs and kisses. To gain status with him, you will need to impressively answer the question, “How many weapons do you have?” (It’s not clear if booger-blades count.)
We are blessedly surrounded by grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends.
What was your attitude about open adoption before you went through the process?
I had no clue. I thought adoption was this big secretive non-secret that everyone pretended had never happened even though everyone knew about it. But once our agency helped us to understand what it was, what it required of us, and what the benefits could be to our children, we embraced it whole-heartedly.
We are in fully open adoptions with Tessa’s birthparents — Crystal since just before Tessa’s birth, and Joe since a few months ago. We consider them both extended family, and they (with spouses and children) are likely to show up at school events, birthday parties, and the occasional “just because” dinner.
We have an open door adoption with Reed’s birthparents. While they are not present now, we have let them know they are welcome in our lives when the time becomes right for either of them. One of our parenting challenges is to deal with the differing levels of openness our two children have.
A reader commented on your recent post that she was struggling with depression after adoption. Please explain what this is.
You’d think that post-baby depression is all hormones. I found out first hand that it is not.
In the months after experiencing everything I ever wanted in my life, I found it was nothing like I thought. I had the long-awaited family I loved beyond belief, but I was deeply, disturbingly depressed. I then learned about a documented phenomenon called PADS, or Post Adoption Depression Syndrome. I got into therapy, imagined the unimaginable regarding my son, and hung out with my new best medication friend, Lexi Pro, for a year. With this three-pronged treatment, I was able to free myself from the demon.
Make no mistake, PADS is real.
How did you get into blogging and what keeps you going with three blogs?
Two years ago I was reading Waiting for Daisy by Peggy Orenstein. I wanted to know more about the author, so I googled her. Up came an announcement about an online book tour of the Barren Bi+ches Book Brigade. All I needed to join the discussion (with other infertile people like me!) was a book and a blog. So I set up Weebles Wobblog, where I write about parenting, adoptive parenting, mindful living, 1970s trivia, and politics.
I also began to tell our adoption stories by serializing the truly incredible events in Drama 2B Mama. Unlike most blogs, this one has an end. The blog is on hiatus until I tell the story again (although all posts are still up).
Finally, I dish about cool stuff and ways to save money. All Thumbs Reviews is really just an elaborate ruse to get people to send my Canadian partner and me tons of free stuff and loads of money to try it all out. Uh, that, and we really love to write and shop smartly, and write about shopping smartly.
What keeps me going? Writing makes me more mindful. And living mindfully is one of my highest aims.
Photos: Mary Beth Graffs