The Great Pumpkin Contest
[photopress:IMG_7751.jpg,thumb,1]My family’s dinner conversations have gone from how to eradicate war and famine to the intricacies of growing the biggest pumpkin. (Though I am sure my obsessed husband Jamie would somehow argue the latter is the solution to world peace).
It started out innocently last spring when he planted the first pumpkin seed. Over the summer, he and our daughter Hadley religiously watered and watched it grow from a molehill to a mountain.
Unfortunately, so did his competitive drive.
“I had only hoped for the biggest pumpkin on the street. Now I think it could be the biggest in the city!!!!!”
Next stop: the world.
Jamie decided to enter it into our local harvest festival and I, good wife that I am, humored him. Until the flood came. It started with his barrage of pumpkin-related emails and then it totally engulfed our dinner conversations.
“I read online that I need to cut the stem right before the competition.”
Grunt.
“It then says I should put the stem into a gallon of water.”
Groan.
“Did you know a pumpkin can lose up to five pounds within the few hours of being cut?”
You get the point.
He arose at the crack of dawn on Saturday for the official vine cutting. He had roped our poor neighbor into helping haul it to my car. He then rolled down the windows and banned me from driving due to the damage he surmised that I would inflict upon it.
Several hours later, he entered it into the competition. He feigned indifference until he saw some kids posing for pictures on his pride and joy.
“GET THOSE PUNK KIDS OFF MY PUMPKIN!!!!!!”
Let The Pumpkin Beatings begin.
I was just ready for it to be over. For this to be a chapter carefully folded away into the Johnson Family History of Dysfunction, never to be spoken of again.
Until he won.
Now as a reminder, I have his winner’s certificate, $50 in prize money and an overstuffed 141.5-pound pumpkin that is taking up the entirety of our front porch.
Unless some of those punk kids want to find out what smashing pumpkins are all about.
Please?
Editors note: Jamie insisted I use this photo vs. a more flattering one of him because “the pumpkin looks better.” How is that for dedication?[photopress:IMG_7739.jpg,full,1]
That is HUGE! Talk about gardening dedication. DANG.
141 lbs!!?? You guys will be eating pumpkin pie for months!! Unless, of course, a gang of “punk kids” beat you to it.
Wow! That is one big pumpkin. You must be so proud. ;o)
Talking about the Great Pumpkin!
Geez, that is one proud pumpkin grower….
Annnnnnnddddddd? ?????
Is he going to carve it for Hallowe’en????
You BET he’s going to carve it!!! Any guesses how long it’ll take? He’s disillusioned to think he will send the seeds on eBay for millions.
ROFLMAO.
Well, that IS a big pumpkin
And I have recently entered a life of crime by becoming a drive by pumpkin thief.
Long story.
But if you are interested in putting a contract out on your pumpkin e-mail me
Tee Hee.
Oddly, I look at this and all I see if pumpkin pie…YUMMO!! That’s a lot of pie.
That is one big pumpkin! I hope you take lots and lots of pictures of the carving process and finished product!
Pumpkin pie for everyone!
I think he has found his calling in life…time to quit his job & become a pumpkin farmer.
What a guy!
How cool is that! I love that he’s planning to sell his award winning pumpkin seeds on ebay – brilliant!
Yay for winning the competition! Gosh, if you can be trusted driving a wedding cake, then I certainly think you could have gotten the pumpkin there safely! Sheesh! ;D
I saw a show on PBS about giant pumpkin growers. Those are some SERIOUS gardeners! Hate to break it to J, but their pumpkins made his look like a mini! But since I have yet to get a pumpkin to grow in my garden, Way to go J!!!
I had heard your husband had a very large….pumpkin. ha ha
Seriously, that is one big melon!!!! Wow. You guys crack me up.
I remember reading in one of the little house one the prairie books that you should put a part of the vine in milk to help a pumpkin grow bigger. I’m sure you wanted to hear that. Now you should all sit and watch Wallace and Grommit and the case of the Ware Rabbit.
You go Jaime! It is huge! I would be the same way if I started growing them.
and… you get to look forward to this being an annual thing. it is an impressive pumpkin.
OH MY GOSH! THAT IS HUGE!
OK, so forgive me for asking, but does the size of his pumpkin relate to the… oh nevermind… awesome gardening skills there, Jamie!
Are you sure that Jamie and Hadley only fed that thing water? Looks a little suspicious to me …..
Uh oh, what’s it going to be next year? Biggest cucumber? LOL
Wow, what a pumpkin! I’ve heard those giant pumpkins are actually inedible because of all the fertilizer you need to make them grow … but maybe that was for those superhuge ones that are, like, 1,000 pounds? Just how many pies are you baking this Thanksgiving?
Yay Jamie!!
[...] pumpkin seeds reposing on my cookie sheet. Or rather, intentionally placed pumpkin seeds BY MY AWARD-WINNING, PUMPKIN-OBSESSED HUSBAND WHO KNOWS I HAVE BEEN PULLING MY HAIR OUT FOR MONTHS ABOUT THIS [...]