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The Many Titles of Mom

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As I think about my busy life as a mother of three kids and all that a mom has to do to keep the ball rolling, I realize moms have so many titles. There are the regular ones such as Mom the Cook. Mom the Nurse. Mom the Teacher and Mom the Chauffeur.

There are also little known or underappreciated titles, and there are some titles that shouldn’t be used at all.

Mom the Comedian

This title was inspired by a conversation I had one morning with my 6-year-old daughter, whom I lovingly refer to as Mini Me.

Me: Mini Me, go upstairs, brush your teeth, then take off your pajamas and get in the bathtub.
Mini Me: Can I take off my pajamas before I brush my teeth?
Me: No.
Mini Me: Why not?
Me: Because you might have a horrible toothbrushing accident and get your toothbrush stuck in your bellybutton.
Mini Me: (wild laughter)

Mom the Pragmatist

My Boys: Mom, we need clean socks for P.E.
Me: What do you mean? You have clean socks.
My Boys: We are taking off our shoes in P.E. to play on the mats and the P.E. teacher says we all need to wear clean socks.
Me: Your socks are clean.
My Boys: They still look dirty on the bottom.
Me: Then wear your brown church socks and nobody will be able to tell the difference.

Mom the Blogger

Aside from Mile High Mamas, I have a personal blog that I write for daily. I recently asked my readers what are some of their “mom titles.” Their responses ran the gamut!

Mom the Fun Squisher. The fun stops here.
Mom the Purveyor of Ancient Chinese Laundry Secrets. Grass stains don’t stand a chance against this mom’s super secret combination of stain sticks and scrubbing techniques.
Mom the Oracle. This title is for the mom who has an answer for every “why not” and “how come.”
The Mamarazzi. This one goes to the mom who is ready with the camera for her child’s every accomplishment, no matter how small.
My personal favorite, Mom the Human Kleenex. This reader commented that despite the fact that she had four boxes of tissue strategically placed around her home, her children’s snot still managed to make its slimy way onto her.

Whatever your “mom titles” may be, the one your child will someday appreciate the most is Mom the Ever-Present.

Hats off to all you multitasking moms out there. So when you are busy making appointments, settling fights and stirring the stew, don’t forget to pat yourself on the back.

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Comments
  • comment avatar Heffalump September 11, 2007

    You know, I don’t have a college degree, but sometimes I feel like I should have an honorary doctorate for all the things my kids think I am an expert at. Just call me Dr. Mom.

  • comment avatar Catherine September 11, 2007

    I was Mom the Loose Tooth Yanker tonight. Ewww. I just hate that job.

    Great post, Annie. 🙂

  • comment avatar Jennifer September 12, 2007

    Congratulations on the new gig!! Can’t wait to read more from you!!

  • comment avatar Kathy September 12, 2007

    What a fun news spot. I am referring this spot to my daughters who are now stay at home moms. Not only can we all relate, we can get a good laugh at ourselves. It is important to know – WE ARE NOT ALONE. Even though some of my children are married the job never ends. I am currently called Mom the Pacifier. I am the sounding board for all the trauma in my kids lives. Through the tears and frustration, my main job is just to listen. Then I can give advice – but hey, believe it or not – they asked for it. Sometimes they even listen now. Life is Good!

  • comment avatar catherine September 12, 2007

    Go Annie! Congratulations, I can’t wait to read more!

  • comment avatar Tama September 12, 2007

    I am Mom the Scientist! About half-way through my scientific explaination of why the sky is blue or tomatoes are red my kids start calling me “Mom the Know-it-All”. They try not to ask science related questions of me anymore. In fact, if someone mistakenly does ask one, my daughter heaves a great sigh and rolls her eyes while looking for someplace to hide.

  • comment avatar rachel September 12, 2007

    My little people would like me to be Mom the Short-Order Cook. I try to be Mom the Chef.
    Great new blog, Annie!

  • comment avatar Lisa September 12, 2007

    I am Mom, the tutor, school’s back in session.

  • comment avatar Nanette September 12, 2007

    I am a mamarazzi for sure! I like that name! 😀

  • comment avatar Big Rich September 12, 2007

    How about mom the JUGGLER . How do all you moms do it and still look like Mrs. Cleaver when we get home from work.

    Annie you’ve got “PERSONALITY” !!

  • comment avatar LW September 12, 2007

    Thanks for a humorous and uplifting reminder to pat ourselves on the back for all we do for our families. You rock, Annie!

  • comment avatar JeanKnee September 12, 2007

    what if I get mixed up and stir the fights and pat the stew??? that would be bad huh?

  • comment avatar Amanda September 12, 2007

    Annie, you’re great! I’m definitely ‘mom the fun squisher’. Sometimes I remind myself of the lady in ‘A Series of Unfortuntate Events’. I’m always thinking of what could possibly go wrong. You never know!

  • comment avatar b. September 12, 2007

    I’m “Mom the Taxi”, I’m also a working mom. So when I get to be the one that get to drive them…I love it.
    This blog is great! I love the look!

  • comment avatar rug's bug September 13, 2007

    I’ve read several articles about what Mom’s should make if they got paid for all their “jobs.” I’m still waiting for that check. Will it be in the mail?

  • comment avatar Annie September 13, 2007

    Thanks everyone for all your kind comments. This is going to be a great adventure!

  • comment avatar Anonymous September 13, 2007

    Do we pat ourselves on the back and rub our tummy at the same time?

  • comment avatar Carrot Jello September 13, 2007

    Whoops, I left it as anonymous. Sorry!

  • comment avatar Jennifer B. September 13, 2007

    Yay for Annie the Blogger Mom! With best of luck from J. the Chaos Coordinator

  • comment avatar Carrie September 14, 2007

    Yeah, the comments are finally working again. But now I forgot what I was going to say. Anywhoo great blog Annie congratulations.

  • comment avatar Millie September 14, 2007

    Mom the comedian for me. Mom the lyrics-rememberer, Mom the occasional yeller, Mom the cat-pee-hater….

  • comment avatar Nancy Face September 15, 2007

    I’m Mom the comedian, not because I’m actually funny, but because my kids crack up seeing me laugh hysterically at my own dumb jokes!

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