We have a weird dynamic in the house. MRS handles pretty much everything: pays the bills, buys the girls’ clothes (well, organizes everything relative to the girls), does the laundry, cooks, travels a ton for work, puts up with my crap, and (aside from that special week that rolls around every month) is a damn fine wife.

So here’s the rub, her ultimate contradiction; she either can’t, or refuses to, put anything back in the same place twice.

If I had a nickel for every time she said, “Where are my sunglasses?” when we’ve gotten in the car, well…I’d have a bunch of nickels.

I’ve had to learn to channel surf telepathically because that stupid clicker has never sat in any one location a second time. (((Side note: someone please come out with a 4 or 5 tuner DVR in a hurry. MRS has so many shows set for series recordings ((hardly any of which she will ever watch (including eleven different versions of Law & Order that air in perpetuity on seven different networks)) that any time I attempt to change the channel, the DVR just prompts me, DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.))) Read on …

As Father’s Day approaches, I’m forced to reflect on my own father and how different his experience as a father was than mine is now.

When my father fed a bottle to my first daughter, his first grandchild, he looked up and said, “You know, this is the first time I’ve ever fed a baby.”

None of us were caught off guard by the revelation. This was not news to us. Nor was the fact that he, though a father of three, had never changed a diaper and most likely never will.

This leads me to the revelation that despite today’s abundance of technological, health, sociological and educational advancements, compared to previous generations we are light-years behind. Instead of rushing to pick up kids at daycare, I should be stopping off for a cocktail on the way home from work and then entering my domain to an awaiting hot dinner, hot wife and quiet kids—all teeming with glee upon my grand entrance.

The problem is that somewhere in the last three or four decades we as a society have wrecked a perfectly functional lifestyle business model. We used to live predominantly in single-income households way back in the “good old days.” Now, oh so many of us are forced to ditch that set-up in favor of the more common duel income gig. And pardon my language, but that blows. Read on …

Now that spring is here there are plenty of things to do with the kids to keep them busy. But for those of you still looking for viable activities there is a hidden gem in Parker that you may not know about.

The Wildlife Experience is a great place to have fun with the kids and provide them and interesting learning opportunity. They have fun play areas and activity space for younger kids, and an Imax-like movie theater with great films that both educate and entertain. The two movies currently playing are Whales and Australia. The Wildlife Experience also has ever changing exhibits that are usually very well done. Check out their thorough website to see all that TWE has to offer.

TWE also has a monthly Martini and a Movie night for the grownups if you are looking for something new on “date night.” Read on …

No. They are not “I love you.” They are not, “I’m really a man.” They are not, “I will not be ignored.” They are not, “Freeze, this is the police.”

The scariest words ever are, “Mom, Dad, I’m pregnant,” as spoken by a teenaged girl.

At least those are the scariest words for me.

My wife and I saw the movie Juno over the weekend—an excellent flick, by the way—and I was forced to look at parenthood from an extremely uncomfortable position. As the father of two girls, ages 2 and 4, parenthood is still about providing and developing. Real parenting apparently takes place when real life enters the picture.

Watching this movie really bummed me out because it made me realize that before long my girls—angels that adore their daddy—will get to the point that they want nothing to do with me. Read on …

When my daughter was three and a half, she developed a real “tude.” She seemed to transform from my delightful, lovely, vivacious, angel to an uncontrollable, defiant, demon-kid about every five minutes.

MRS and I debated the pros and cons of spanking, when demon-child was present. MRS says, no way, and drops “How To” books on my lap. I say all this “time out” stuff is bullcrap and some gentle but firm corporal punishment is what’s lacking in today’s parenting. I know it worked on me.

I’m curious what you parents think about this subject. Do you spank or not? Do you have some secret techniques you use to control your little maniacs? Or do you just let them run wild and hope they grow out of it?

Please help!!!!

I’m sitting here with my brother and Amber emails me to write a post for MHM. I ask my brother—single, by the way—what I should write about for the Mamas. He says, and I quote, “tell them to get on um more.”

I chuckle. I say, “why not?”

But considering the MHM audience is primarily female, I think it best to approach this subject from a slightly less predictable direction. I don’t think anyone wants to read about, nor cares about, some random married dude complaining about not getting enough action in the boudoir.

I think I’m going to tackle this issue from a place that might surprise you. Since I don’t expect much if any of my male readership to be venturing over here—though I will be promoting the post on my blog so I might be wrong—I’m going to get a wee bit in touch with my feminine side. Read on …

Mrs. McDad is a well renowned leadfoot. So, [my daughter]THREE’s recent report didn’t exactly come as a surprise. It did, however, hammer home the point that I now have two little “rats” in the house. Being that these “rats” are too young and innocent to fear mafia-type threats against those who plot against the Family, I’m going to need to leverage this situation to protect myself and simultaneously acquire useful dirt on MRS.

The report went something like this:

Dateline: Daddy’s Car.
Situation: driving to daycare.
THREE, on turning onto a residential street: “Daddy? Are we going slow now?”
McDad, assuming role of responsible parent, example setter: “Yes baby. We drive slow on these small streets. Lot’s of kids live here and we need to be careful.”
THREE: “Mommy doesn’t go slow.” Read on …