Xeriscape – What’s with all the rocks?

Front-facing, three-car garages – Is the house really just one big garage?

Displays of religion – Crucifixes, sculptures, framed scripture, and more (although not a single mezuzah, which wasn’t much of a surprise).

I now understand the reason for the rocks, and I was just initially overwhelmed by the garages, considering we had only one car and no lawnmower to store. But the homogeneity and pervasiveness of religion…well, it still makes me uncomfortable.

Any fellow atheists out there? Bueller?

For most of the year, it rarely comes up. Sometimes I’ll meet someone new who will ask, completely offhand, where we go to church. Sometimes I’ll be chatting with the women in my Bunco group about current events, and some will lament a recent tragedy, ascribing it to a lack of religion. Sometimes I’ll catch a glance when someone sneezes and I don’t bless them, or when I take the Lord’s name in vain.

But this will be the third year that we’ve lived in Colorado during the holidays, and I’m steeling myself for the inevitable questions.

Yes, we celebrate Christmas. Yes, we get a tree (a real one, in fact – that’s important to us). Yes, we take the girls to see Santa. Yes, we send cards (when I remember to do so).

And yes, we think it’s important to teach them about the meaning of Christmas. That it’s not all about presents and Santa, but that it’s a celebration of treating each other well. That it began with a celebration of the first day of winter, eventually becoming a celebration of the birth of Jesus. That the story of Jesus’s birth told in many beautiful songs. But for us, it’s just as fictional as Santa himself. Lovely and inspirational, but fictional.

My husband and I have answered our older daughter’s questions about God and Jesus and Christmas with as much honesty and as little prejudice as possible. That is, we’ve told her what we believe, but we’ve also told her that many people – most people, in fact – believe differently, and that she must respect that. We don’t criticize others’ beliefs.

Fortunately, we’ve seen little criticism of our beliefs. Mostly, people with whom we’ve shared our beliefs have been incredulous; atheism is a curiosity here.

Last year in pre-school, our older daughter’s class was discussing the holidays, and one boy stated that Christmas was Jesus’s birthday and that he was the son of God. I got a call from the teacher that afternoon to let me know that my daughter had reacted strongly to her classmate’s assertions, standing up and telling him that she didn’t believe God wasn’t real.

The teacher handled the situation well, so much so that when I picked up my daughter from school, she made no mention of the incident. When I brought it up, she was quite matter-of-fact about it.

I had to admire that. Even though, like all kids her age, she was still too young to have fully analyzed the information and reached her own conclusions, she had enough courage to speak up in a group and voice her dissent. Frankly, I couldn’t even manage to tell my husband’s boss’s wife that no, I didn’t agree with her that people should say “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays.” I think I feigned momentary deafness.

So while the holidays will most likely be uneventful – no crosses burning on the front lawn, but possibly a call from the kindergarten teacher about our heathen-in-training – I’m looking at them as a warm-up for the elections next year, because I’m pretty sure our politics differ from those of the rest of the town too.

Any fellow Libertarians out there? Bueller?

Julie Marsh is a Denver mom of three. She is the VP of Operations at Cool Mom Picks and an award-winning blogger. This post was originally published at Mile High Mamas in 2007.

Okay, so I’ve been part of Team Cool Mom Picks since mid-2006. I’m definitely biased.

The CMP Holiday Gift Guide includes over 100 unique and cool ideas for literally everyone on your list – from “The Future Rock Star” to “The Effortless Eco-Fashionista”, and from “The Nanny You Don’t Want Anyone to Steal” to a whole section of kids’ gifts under $12. Plus, we’ve ensured this year’s guide is especially recession-friendly – without sacrificing our signature CMP style.

Much as I love all of the picks (and I had no role in picking them – I’m the ad gal for CMP), there are several that I need to call out for being extra-spectacular.

- Personalized coloring books from Frecklebox: An awesome idea for your gaggle of young nieces and nephews. Personalization keeps the kids from fussing over whose coloring book is whose.

- Sprig Toys: These vehicles, figures, and playsets are made from a composite of recycled wood and reclaimed plastic. No paint, no batteries, and a yummy woodsy scent. Plus they’re made here in Colorado – Sprig Toys is located in Fort Collins.

- Angora gloves: from Nepal: Fair trade handmade gloves made from the wool of locally farmed Angora rabbits. Net proceeds benefit Himalayan medical and educational projects. Elegant gift giving and feel-good philanthropy, both for only $12.

- Foodzie: Like Etsy for foodies. We featured a set of three exotic jams, but click around and salivate. Better yet, search for “bacon” and marvel at the deliciousness.

- Boom Boom cards: A social experiment of intentional acts of kindness. Absolutely unbelievably cool, especially the Teen Edition. Seriously, I want to hand these out to all my friends – and that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do with them.

- Woven+Stainless earrings from Polli: On the more expensive end of the spectrum, but check out the other offerings at Polli too – an Australian shop featuring gorgeous designs and sustainable materials. Prices are in AUD, so knock about 10% off when figuring USD.

- Personalized stamps from Craft Pudding: Need a gift for the kid who has everything? With the enormous variety of customization options for eyes, hair, and face, you don’t even need to spring for personalization to make it utterly unique.

Finally, we included a section of worthy causes – gifts that give back. You won’t get to name your very own star, but you could do something even more significant, like set up an emergency temporary school (not cheap, but the impact is huge). Or check out DonorsChoose.org, where you can help a classroom in need with a special project.

I understand the temptation to pile up the presents beneath the tree (while simultaneously piling up the debt). But when we get the credit card statement in January, nobody wants to look back and not even remember everything we gave.

To me that’s the best part of the CMP Holiday Gift Guide. These are ideas that will hopefully get all of us excited about giving gifts that we’ll remember long after that balance is paid off.

I have to listen to that whistle until the end of August. Somebody hold me, please.

Fortunately, we live on a street filled with kids who’ll also be complaining of impending death from boredom, so I can always slather her with sunscreen and shoo her outside. I won’t lock the doors though, like my mother did to us. (Anybody else’s mother ever do that?)

I’m already admittedly the meanest mom in the whole damn town, and at no other time am I meaner than summertime. But I’m not just mean to other people’s kids, I’m mean to my own. Or so I’m told.

Because while I’m all in favor of getting the kids outside for some fresh air, I’m also eager to take advantage of the free child labor I’ve got right here under my roof.

You have no clean clothes? Bring down your laundry hamper!

You can’t find your shoes? Clean out your closet!

You’re bored? Scrub the toilet in your bathroom!

You think I’m kidding? Toilet scrubbing is the new Friday afternoon activity around here. Want to go outside and play? Scrub every last inch of that potty, then wash your hands and you’re free.

Sure, it’s summer vacation. It’s her time to kick back and relax. She doesn’t have to be up and dressed and out of the house every morning only to sit at a desk off and on for several hours. She can lie around in her jammies and forget to bathe. That’s what swim practice is for anyway, right?

But she’s established so many great habits over the school year. She’s gotten really good at taking on responsibility. I don’t want her to lose that. And yeah, I could use some help keeping up with the household.

I know a few chores will cut into her lemonade stand time. But it’s a drop in the bucket compared to the days and days of summer stretching out ahead of us.

We’ll both be counting the days.

Sunday afternoon, I took my daughter CJ to the grocery store with me. As usual, she climbed up to hang onto the side of the cart, and as usual, I told her to get down.

We made our way through the produce department without incident. Then I stopped the cart and turned my back on it – and her – as I looked through the specialty cheeses. Just as I picked up a ball of mozzarella, I heard a shriek and a crash. I turned to see her lying on the floor with the cart on top of her.

Another shopper was already rushing to lift the cart off her. I sat on the floor and pulled her into my lap, where she sobbed, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” as I smoothed her hair. One employee went to get us another container of blackberries to replace the one that had broken open when it fell out of the cart, and another employee knelt down beside us to see if CJ was all right.

As her sobs subsided – with a little encouragement from me: “Please settle down. Not so loud.” – I gently asked her, “Were you hanging onto the side of the cart?” She nodded. I went on, “Haven’t I told you many times not to do that?”

She nodded again, but then added, “Mommy, you weren’t watching me.”

“CJ, I can’t always watch you. Sometimes I have to trust you to do the right thing.”

By far, this has turned out to be the most difficult part of motherhood for me – letting my children learn painful lessons on their own. I can tell them what they should and shouldn’t do, but at some point I have to let them go and trust them to do as I’ve told them. And I have to hope that they won’t get hurt too badly – physically or emotionally – if they insist on learning those painful lessons first hand.

I know there will be many more tears to wipe away, but I’m betting I’ll never have to remind CJ again not to hang onto the side of the grocery cart.

In addition to being a valuable resource for these charities, the Food Bank of the Rockies is a really neat operation. The warehouse contains pallets and pallets of boxes, categorized by their contents and organized numerically so that they’re easy to find. The boxes contain everything from paper products and personal care products to canned fruits and vegetables. There’s also a huge walk-in refrigerator and identical freezer. Items are donated primarily by grocery and supermarket chains, and the Food Bank charges a minimal per-pound fee for most items, while some items – such as bread and produce – are free.

We accompanied charity representatives, reviewing their orders and pulling the corresponding boxes. Some items were apparently in high demand, such as canned fruits and vegetables, and no boxes were left. Others, like paper products, don’t have the same contents in every box. However, each box weighs the same amount, so the cost to the charity can be calculated easily.

While sorting through some as-yet unopened boxes, looking for bread items for one representative, we found a couple trays of croissants and a package of bakery cookies. It was almost like finding treasure among the stacks of assorted rolls, and it made me really happy to think of how these goodies would be a treat for the people receiving them. I think nothing of occasionally picking up a croissant to accompany a latte, or grabbing a cookie at the bakery if I’m craving chocolate, but not everyone is so fortunate.

I wish there had been more work for us to do; I expect if we’d been able to visit earlier in the day, there would have been even more orders for us to fulfill. Out in the loading area, one organization had eight pallets assembled and shrink-wrapped, waiting to be picked up. Several other agencies also had orders waiting. I could tell it had been a busy day.

I hope to go back again soon. A couple of my neighbors have high school students who must complete a certain number of hours of community service as a graduation requirement, and I would love to take them with me to help out.

Oh, and fellow bloggers are welcome too. Just drop me an email!

For more information on volunteering at the Food Bank of the Rockies Warehouse, check out the Volunteer page on their website.

Fortunately, we found several ways to keep the kids happy that didn’t involve buying them more stuff at every turn. Not only were we concerned about our credit card balances, we had just one suitcase (because now it costs $15 just to check one bag) and couldn’t afford to bust the weight limit (because it costs an arm and a leg to check a bag weighing more than fifty pounds).

Keep cool when it gets hot. Don’t buy ice cream or frozen lemonade or those ridiculous Dippin’ Dots that taste like miniature hail stones. Find a water fountain and have a water fight. Take a few gulps while you’re at it.

Hotel room amusements. Stay out of the minibar. Instead, let your toddler pull out as many tissues from the dispenser as he can. At the Disney Grand Californian, the dispenser is situated at the perfect height. No, it’s not earth-friendly, but it costs less than a Toblerone from the minibar.

Rent strollers. I can’t say enough good things about stroller rental at Disneyland. Rent one even if you’ve got a kid who’s pushing five. Get the stroller, avoid the whining. Plus if the kid’s in the stroller, you can push it right past the shelves and shelves of Princess wares.

Buy mouse ears. I know I said this guide was about how to enjoy Disneyland without shopping ’til you drop, but trust me on the mouse ears. Let the kids pick out a funky pair, get their name stitched on the back, and they will be set for souvenirs right there. Get some for yourself too; I saw grown men all over the park sporting mouse ears without a shred of embarrassment.

Wait by the stage door for the Princesses. Speaking of the Princesses, go ahead and stand in line to meet them in person if you really need Cinderella’s autograph. But I’d recommend scooting around the corner (by all the Princess wares, natch) and waiting for the Princesses to change shifts. You can’t get autographs or photos with them, but your little Princess wanna-be can shout hello and get a royal wave in return.

More hotel room amusements. Don’t use the shampoo and body wash yourself. Pour it into the tub to create the world’s bubbliest bubble bath for the kids. They will have a ridiculously good time.

Go to the shows. The shows are free and they’re absolutely fabulous. I never thought much of amusement park shows, but there’s a big difference between a Six Flags performance and a Disneyland performance. I also didn’t expect my kids to sit still, but they were utterly spellbound.

Bring empty sippie cups. Fill them up at water fountains, which are all over the place. Milk will curdle, and kids don’t need soda anyway. Water is absolutely your best bet, and again – it’s free.

Bring your own snacks. Maybe it’s not all that kosher, but personally I hate spending big bucks on a snack for a starving child only to have her eat two bites and declare it “yucky”. If you’ve got some pretzels or raisins in your bag, you can stave off the hunger pangs until it’s actually time for a meal.

Do a little scouting before you settle on a place to eat. One thing about Disneyland that I loved even more than the stroller rental was the dining selection. Seriously! There’s standard park fare, and then there’s a wide variety of food rarely found at parks: kabobs, jambalaya, pasta, deli sandwiches, and more. Everything we ate was delicious.

Still more hotel room amusements. This one’s for us adults. The bar at the Disney Grand Californian will let you take pints of beer or glasses of wine up to your room. So yet again, stay away from the minibar. Send your husband on the run for adult beverages and enjoy a moment of peace together while your kids are in the bubble bath.

Want more Disneyland recommendations? I’ve summed them up in a couple of posts at Mother Knows Best – Part One and Part Two.

What are some of your tips for enjoying Disneyland with your family?

We don’t spank. We think it’s illogical to tell children not to use physical force against one another, and then use it ourselves against them.

Beyond that, we believe there are better ways to get a child’s attention. I’m actually working on my own tactics in that area, as I tend to raise my voice more often and with less provocation than I probably should. Yelling loses its desired effect when it’s employed so often.

Also, I have to admit that when I yell, it’s usually more about me than the kids. My fuse is significantly shorter when I don’t have an inbox full of fires, looming deadlines, and fifty pounds of laundry to fold. The same transgression under more stressful circumstances generates a much louder response from me, and that’s really not fair to the kids.

Likewise, I wonder if parents who do use physical punishment – typically in a controlled, non-reactive manner – sometimes end up lashing out when they’re feeling stress. I gave myself permission to yell, and now I sometimes abuse it. Do parents who spank sometimes abuse that power?

I once said to Tacy: “I’m so angry with you that I want to spank you.” I didn’t do it; sharing the intensity of my frustration was enough to curb it. Since then, I’ve thought the same thing, but didn’t voice it. Instead, I told her: “I need to walk away now. Just please do what I asked you to do.”

To parents who opt for physical punishment, time out might sound ineffective. But as a parent who will admit feeling the urge to lash out, I absolutely suggest time out – not for the kids, but for you. In all seriousness, it was the best move I could have made in that situation, and I plan to do it again the next time I reach that level of frustration.

Because I don’t kid myself; with three kids who are still in the early stages of the marathon journey to adulthood, I’m going to get angry many, many times. Better to start controlling my reactions right now.

Do you spank your kids? Why or why not?

But I’m really excited to begin this year’s triathlon season, starting at the end of April and going through September. I’ve been biking and running and swimming regularly, and now I’ve added something new to my repertoire: shredding!

Yep, that’s right – I’m doing the 30-Day Shred, with Jillian Michaels of The Biggest Loser fame.

Have you heard of it? It’s intense – nonstop activity for twenty minutes straight, divided into three six-minute segments plus warm up and cool down. In each of the six-minute segments, there’s three minutes of strength exercises, two minutes of cardio, and one minute of abs. The only equipment you need is a set of hand weights. Oh, and some decent shoes and a sports bra.

And I’m not the only one doing it. There’s a whole bunch of us shredding ourselves silly this month.

The workout – I haven’t ventured beyond Level One yet myself – is great for cross-training. I can bike and run and swim long and hard, but sixty seconds of side lunges with shoulder raises using five pound hand weights can bring me to my knees.

Which I suppose is a good thing, since it means I’m halfway down to the floor, where I can do some bicycle crunches, which I hate even more than lunges and shoulder raises.

I may complain about how hard the strength exercises can be, but really, the 30 Day Shred has been the perfect complement to my cardio training. And since I can check in on the progress of the other Shredheads, it’s heartening to see that lots of us are having trouble.

But what’s better is how inspiring it is to see everyone keep on keeping on. I love that there are so many women shredding who aren’t athletic, who aren’t training for physical challenges, who aren’t even in great shape. I admire their courage, and not just for posting pictures of their “pre-Shred” selves. It takes guts to embark on a program that you know will be really tough, let alone to keep coming back for more.

Want to join in? You don’t have to have a blog. You just have to make room in your schedule for twenty minutes of shredding. Even if your arms feel like cooked spaghetti afterward, you’ll be so proud of yourself that you won’t even notice.

Well, at least until you try to pick up your 20-pound toddler. Yowza.

Unfortunately, the simple approach won’t suffice for my oldest. She’s got to keep up with the Joneses – all of her friends who’ve had slumber parties and bowling excursions.

To be honest, I’m putting the pressure on myself not to skimp on the festivities. She’s attended some nice, but not over the top, parties and I want to reciprocate. It’s not a matter of outdoing anyone, but merely returning the favor.

While she’s thrilled to spend the night at friends’ houses – remember, this is the child who flew alone to Washington DC when she was barely six – I realize that many of her friends aren’t yet prepared to do the same, at least not without a tearful 2 a.m. call to their parents, imploring to be picked up. So it seems that a slumber party will have to wait.

Likewise, we’re both tired of the mass outings to hosted parties where all you have to do is show up, but you pay an arm and a leg for the convenience. Not worth it, especially when the assumption is that the whole class will be invited, which can get uber-pricey.

So we’ll do something at our house for a couple hours. I’ve got a few ideas – some traditional, some not so traditional – that I’m prepared to execute. I’ll run them past the birthday girl and see what strikes her fancy. Maybe her party won’t be the first grade event of the year, but she and her guests will enjoy it. Hopefully so will I.

What is your attitude about children’s birthday parties? The more over-the-top the better or do you like to keep things simple?

Have you seen the big blue horse? It’s actually a fiberglass sculpture by Luis Jiminez. Commissioned in 1992, it killed Jiminez in 2006 – part of it fell on him, injuring him fatally – and was finished by his sons.

Personally, the big blue horse is not my cup of tea – and it has nothing to do with my dubious view of the Broncos.

If the horse was made of metal or sculpted from rock, and perhaps a little less wild-eyed, I’d think it was a great monument to the West. But it’s blue – bright, cobalt blue – and not a little frightening. And while a rearing mustang is a fitting symbol of this city, the color of it (and the material too, honestly) don’t fit at all.

It’s not like the cows of CowParade, which are meant to be a humorous commentary. Found in cities all over the world, these cows are brightly painted in accordance with various themes. We’ve actually got quite a few here in Denver, and in fact, I swear there’s one in my little suburb.

Or else maybe someone’s just put a brightly painted cow out to pasture. Here’s hoping it doesn’t knock me over next time I go out biking. Now that would be a story, wouldn’t it?

Back to the big blue horse.

I realize that not everyone has the same taste in art, and that the artist who created this sculpture was exceptionally talented. This horse might be the perfect complement to another city. But here in the wild wild West, it just looks silly.

I also realize that I’m a transplant to Denver, and I’m not yet fully indoctrinated into the ways of the city.

But I like it here, and I think it’s a beautiful city with gorgeous scenery and so much to offer that would-be visitors haven’t yet discovered. I want them to land at our airport and be awed by the sweeping plains and snow-capped mountains and acres of clear blue sky. I don’t want them to gape at a big blue horse.

Worse yet, I don’t want them to laugh at us for choosing it as a symbol of our city.

What is your opinion of the blue horse at DIA?