Have you ever called Poison Control?
When I was pregnant with our first baby, we called. Did I ingest Lysol? Was I overcome with ammonia fumes? Did I take too many prenatal vitamins? No. I ate an apple.
In the process of apple-eating, I accidently bit into several little black seeds which were clustered together. [...]

It was my husband’s birthday, so we decided to celebrate by taking our family out to lunch at a downtown Denver restaurant famous for their dairy-based desserts. Our six kids were very well-behaved, and one of our fellow diners complimented me when I stood to take our toddler daughter to the bathroom.
I thanked the [...]

When I was about eight and she was five, I tricked my sister, Alison, into saying a very bad word.
I did not know what the word meant. I just knew it was bad. I knew it was bad because there was a boy in my third grade class with the last name of Rucker. [...]

When Nini, my sister-in-law, and I stepped off the elevator and into the crowd at the Denver Center for the Performing Arts, we didn’t know which way to go.
We had just left my car on the eighth floor roof of the parking garage. The fact I had to drive up the equivalent of the [...]

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I’ve been happily married for eleven and a half years. My husband is my best friend. Our marriage isn’t perfect, but it is a safe place where love is unconditional and nobody shoplifts.
My husband never took me [...]

Day One, 7:30 am
“You have reached Neighborhood Elementary School’s attendance line. Please leave a message with your student’s name, class, reason for absence and number of days absent. Thank you.â€? Beep.
“Hi! This is Gretchen White, Ryley’s mom. He is in Mrs. Goodteacher’s second-grade class. He won’t be at school today due to a fever and [...]

Yesterday was Cowboy Day at my boys’ school, in honor of the National Western Stock Show, which has been held in Denver for over a century. If you aren’t from the west, you might hear the words “stock show” and picture shares of Apple and Google framed for cooing admiration.
“Stock” is actually an all-encompasing [...]

Her name is Crystal.
When we enter her room, she smiles and a large red heart hovers over her sweet shaggy brown head. “I missed you!” she says with a squeak (via overhead bubble). It fades and we are left to earn money for her. We want her to have everything – a comfy bed, [...]

My son Ryley approached me one recent evening as I reclined on the couch. The look on his face told me he had Big News: “Mom, I have something very important to tell you.”
Okay.
“There is a mountain lion at school.”
“There is? How do you know?” I was taken aback, expecting his important news [...]

Like everything else iffy in the expansive, mysterious universe, it could be George Bush’s fault. I published my first post at my home blog, Lifenut, on September 30th, 2004.
During the months leading up to the 2004 elections, I found myself online a lot. I visited many political debate forums and websites, and was completely [...]