The Art of Growing…and Murdering Butterflies
March 15, 2010 – 7:00 am | 9 Comments

My daughter Hadley’s butterfly obsession began last summer when my parents bought her a butterfly net and book.
She was not quick enough to capture even one.
That’s why I wasn’t too surprised when she announced she …

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Articles by Gretchen

Ode to obnoxious Christmas newsletters
December 10, 2008 – 12:27 am | 18 Comments

Everyone complains about bragging, overly-detailed Christmas newsletters.
Invasive medical procedures undergone in May are recounted on paper rimmed with robust snowmen. Splashy vacations are described in so much detail, the room smells like Coppertone and …

Winter WonderLights = Winter WonderNights
November 26, 2008 – 12:04 am | 6 Comments

I was dying to get their autographs. International celebrities don’t come to the Denver area every day.
I held back. Their antlers were slightly intimidating, the language barrier was daunting, and it must be hard …

Keep your mitts off my baby name, HBO
November 13, 2008 – 12:00 am | 21 Comments

My husband and I never share what we are naming our babies until after they are born.
Our theory is that nobody will criticize a baby’s name while they are holding the baby or hypnotized …

Pat the Tummy
October 30, 2008 – 12:00 am | 20 Comments

It is enthralling, isn’t it?
I remember as a young woman shyly asking a cousin if I could touch her very pregnant belly. I was curious what it felt like. A waterbed? A balloon? A …

Candyland is a real place, and it starts on top of my fridge
October 16, 2008 – 12:00 am | 16 Comments

The chocolate in most mass-produced candy bars is as waxy and luscious as any pillar or stick at a mall candle store.
Candy corn tastes nothing like corn and it’s debatable whether it is worth …

1,001 Ways to Say Poop and The Wildlife Experience Ticket Giveaway!
October 7, 2008 – 12:02 am | 4 Comments

Editor’s Note: This post is a part of a giveaway for tickets to The Wildlife Experience. Contest details are at the end.

My six-year-old son studied the piles of rubber poop and photos of animals. Different …

Well-rounded isn’t just for balls
September 17, 2008 – 12:00 am | 21 Comments

I have a confession.
When we drive by sports fields on Saturdays and Sundays, and I see dozens of uniformed kids and their parents? I am so glad we aren’t there.
American suburban families who …