Legend says Santa hits white sand beaches on December 26, a well-earned reward for the hard work of gifting the world with knick knacks and board games and electronic book readers. What does Cupid do the day after Valentine’s Day? Is he smugly thrusting his fat baby toes into sand on a pristine shore?
I [...]

I really messed up with my older kids.
I taught them that the protuberance on their faces is called a nose. If I had my wits about me as a young mom, I might have seen the wisdom in teaching them that it is called a Sniff Sniff or maybe even a Snot Hovel.
Nose [...]

Go directly to bed. Do not stop at the washing machine. Do not collect your thoughts. If you roll a good number at your next OB appointment, you might be released.
During the last month of my most recent pregnancy, I was put on bed rest.
To many moms, the idea of being sentenced to [...]

In January, someone is going to catch a cold.
February will bring some snow and a cold.
March will find us at the St. Patrick’s Day parade. Someone will have a cold and will be wearing green ON HIS FACE.
The Easter baskets in April will be full of Cadbury Mini Eggs, but we will [...]

When my younger brother was in elementary school, he begged and begged for a special video game for Christmas. One day, a few weeks before Christmas, he saw a present under the tree with his name on it. It was the exact size and shape of a Nintendo video game, so he decided to take [...]

December is the eldest month of the year. It’s observant, eccentric, grand and stylish. It’s 2010′s last hurrah and it’s going out with a flourish of chocolate and peppermint, roasting roasts and rousing toasts.
I respect my elders. The 12th month of the year has been around a lot longer than I. If December wants [...]

They are impossible to eat, but look nice in a big bowl on the kitchen table.
Popcorn balls were a part of every Christmas celebration held by my mom’s side of the family. My grandma and my great-grandmother made them using the same ancient techniques the Mayans used to make the bricks to build the [...]

When we met between the racks of better women’s sportswear, I knew I was in for an emotional ride. Her hand, when I shook it, was stiff and cold, wooden almost. I couldn’t discern the material. Perhaps some sort of polyresinous material. Born in a factory, but not without feelings, her body may have been [...]

‘Tis the season when decapitated mummies and axe-wielding ghouls haunt the aisles of grocery stores and the lawns of our neighbors.
It’s ugly out there.
My kids like to visit the Halloween slivers of stores, where orange and black reign supreme and candy buckets have moving claws. Rows of plastic skeletons hang limply from hooks, fugitives from [...]

What is it like to be a LEGO figurine? What do they do all day?
Based on the LEGO figurines in our household, they lead an exhilarating lifestyle of piloting spaceships and braving the g-forces of the spin cycle, the heat of the dryer, and the humiliation of finding Chewbacca’s head on Princess Leia’s body. [...]