I am not a Poster Parent
My kids are embroiled in year-end projects at school. The projects are time-consuming and demand great attention to detail and deadlines.
Through these projects, kids learn a lot about time management, research, public speaking, and poster design. I’m proud of the way my kids have tackled the challenge of completing a massively important assignment. The temptation to step in and take over was almost overwhelming at times when they would get stuck or their wording was a bit wonky.
Somehow, I stayed out of the process. How?
I am not a fourth-grader. I passed that grade. I passed the grades leading up to it and the grades that came tumbling after. I did my time sitting at little desks. I paid my dues opening and closing lockers. I still remember my junior high gym locker combination. 2-32-10. Been there, done that, wrote the paper about Eleanor Roosevelt.
That is why I don’t understand parents who take over their kid’s projects. Didn’t you have enough of your own homework? Why are you doing your kid’s work?
A bigger question: Do you think you are fooling anyone?
Perhaps the biggest question is why am I bothered by parents who do their children’s work for them? I’ll call them Poster Parents. I’ve seen posters, ostensibly crafted by six-year-olds, that are suspiciously sleek. Target commercial sleek. Apple sleek. It makes me mad, not because it detracts from my child’s work but because it’s insulting to teachers.
Teachers spent all year teaching writing, editing, research strategies, and art only for Poster Parents to send the message the lessons were not learned and the child cannot be trusted to implement the lessons in the real world. The Poster Parent’s way is better, faster, brighter, prettier.
Maybe the Poster Parent’s parents did all their projects and posters for them, so they fill that void by doing their children’s projects for them? It could go back for dozens of generations.
It wasn’t really Leonardo de Vinci who painted the Sistine Chapel’s ceiling. It was his dad, Barry de Vinci. The pope totally rolled his eyes when he saw the completed project because Barry and Leo didn’t fool anyone, but a little check was made in the grade book with an asterisk.
Poster Parents do not realize they are building children who will not be able to cobble together decent Garage Sale signs. These are the children who will think Comic Sans is beautiful and functional when they design the church bulletin or type up the minutes from the board meeting.
Ultimately, Poster Parents do not trust their children to demonstrate competence. My kids’ posters are done. They are not perfect. Someday? They’ll be really good. They’ll remember lessons like Don’t Glue Until All Parts Are Assembled and Block Letters are Tricky.
Their garage sales will make tons of money.
This is a great post, Gretchen! I was required to do rather extensive projects in school as a child, and my parents offered guidance. They gave good tips like the ones you mentioned, specifically the Don’t Glue Until All Parts Are Assembled one. Another favorite is how to draw your lettering in really light pencil before going permanent. Writing too hard with the pencil will leave ridges.
But, I digress…
Even with all their “help,” I had to do all the work.
Of course, as a budding perfectionist even then, when it wasn’t PERFECT it made ME a little crazy. Ah well, some things never change.
I know that when Claire gets to school, THIS will be one of the challenges I’ll face in MYSELF. I’ll need to remember to give tips and then stay at least an arm-length away from the poster at all times.
Love this post! My 4th grader has a project due next week, he has to make a movie poster of a book he read and write a one-page summary. It’s tough, because the directions say to “be creative” and my poor son just isn’t real creative. But he’s going to do his own work. I remember going through this same struggle with Pinewood Derby Cars in Cub Scouts. Oh man, you could tell which cars were made by the dads rather than the boys. Anyway, thank you so much for writing this!
This post has so much truth and I can only hope it doesn’t fall on deaf ears. Those parents striving to “fill a void” are probably the least likely to take your advice to heart. I would know. My son is just finishing 6th grade and in those early 3rd and 4th grade projects I know I gave far more than just the gentle guidance I should have. And I got really good grades for it. I may never know what grades *he* might have gotten.
It was hard to slowly learn to let go. Now my challenge is letting go of that desperate need for my kid to be a straight-A student and let him find his own level of achievement. He’s pulling a 3.2 gpa and a part of me is dying. While I struggle, I am watching the birth of a new part of him and it is oh so worth it.
In France, the teachers do the kids’ art projects. I just don’t get it. They come home with perfect, beautiful projects from preschool. WHY?
But I totally agree with this. I don’t do my kids’ homework. Except…what’s wrong with comic sans?
I agree with you on not taking over the projects. When I was younger, I would have appreciated *some* input from my parents, but I am just as glad that they didn’t take them over and do them for me.
Just a heads up, it was Michelangelo who painted the Sistine Chapel ceiling; Da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa. They were contemporaries, though.
Ha! comic sans!
I love a good font joke….
And I’m definitely with you on this one…. We will not be doing anyone’s projects around here…
See, Gretchen!? Somebody didn’t do her homework! I blame my mother.
We’ll let it stand as an example of what happens when kids don’t pay attention in school.
Oh, I really really really really struggle with this!!! Mostly because it’s my fault they’re behind because I procrastinated helping them get the stuff together or I had a million things we had to go do and they didn’t have time after school or, or, or . . . Then we’re rushing to get it done and I’ll just help a little so it doesn’t look SO rushed & bad. Sigh.
Yes, this is how I did mine in the 4th grade too. By myself.
oh yeah. this hit close to home. my daughter does her own projects and they are less than perfect, BUT i am comforted that she will learn and improve at her own speed. but tonight…yes, tonight…i did some of her social studies homework. *blush* it was actually not very meaningful homework. she has always had a tough time with word searches. this was the granddaddy of all word searches. it was the 50 states. and it was taking her a looonnnng time. she worked on it for at least an hour, looking strained and frustrated (this after already doing a half hour of language homework). i sat down to help. we worked together for at least 20 more minutes. finally i sent her away and finished myself. i know. bad bad mom. but i knew that she needed the half hour of free time that she got before shower and bedtime. and who cares about a stupid word search. *sigh* that’s my story and i’m stickin’ to it!
Funny. I saw that for the first time this year with the “winter dioramas.” J’s not really into that sort of thing, so hers consisted of some cotton balls, some cut out green triangles. Standing in line the day they were due, I saw some impressive art probably NOT created by the kids– delicate paper birds suspended by special wire, incredibly detailed miniature snow villages, ski hills, ski lifts, it was impressive. I can see helping your kid if they have a vision and can’t quite manage something technical, like the whole punch, but these seemed to go beyond that. J saw them too. She was impressed. Maybe next time she’ll try harder, or maybe she won’t, that’s her choice to make. I failed dioramas too, and I’m fine. To this day when someone says they need someone to make a poster my heart beats fast and my palms sweat. It’s not my thing. Maybe it won’t be hers either.
On the other hand, if she’s struggling at math, I definitely would help her, so I can see it both ways. I wouldn’t do the homework for her, but I would try to help her learn it. If she can’t, it’s probably important to send it back incomplete so the teacher knows she is struggling and/or not interested.
I agree!! Adam may only be in Kindergarten, but I already tell him that “I’m not in school , he is.” He had 1 poster project this year. J helped him with it and allowed him to figure out where to put everything. I must admit that had I been overseeing I would had felt the need to “teach” him how a poster project “should” look.
Ha – I saw that last year in kindergarten when my twins had to make leprechaun traps for St. Patrick’s Day. Standing in line that morning, I was STUNNED to see so many kids carrying absolute engineering marvels into class. Stuff with PULLEYS. What do kindergarteners know about pulleys? Meanwhile, my daughter decided to just TRICK the leprechauns into entering her trap with a sign that said, “This is not a trap.”
Laura, that is hilarious! Her trap is far more clever than anything with pulleys, by far.
Hello Gretchen,
Were you able to interview parents for this post? I am a parent who helped my son with a poster recently, and here are a few reasons why:
It was a fun project for me and my son to do together.
I bought the supplies and asked him how we could use them. Once he shared his ideas,I shared mine (teamwork). If he didn’t agree with my ideas, that was Okay. At least he had another viewpoint. After he got the project rolling, many ideas came to him. I was proud that he was able to take control of the project and make it a creation of his own.
Also, I was able to instruct him on the possibilities of poster design that are not taught in the school. The project gave me the opportunity to teach my son design and presentation that he will use in his future career.
Furthermore,I was very proud that my son took my advice seriously and that he was able to stand up in front of the class with confidence. This is the beginning stage of taking leadership.
On the next project, I will ask him what he remembered about this one, and how he could improve those ideas for the new project.
I wanted him to realize that there was more to making a poster than printing pictures from online and pasting them to the poster board.
Finally, not all parents (do) projects for their child. First, some parents do what parents are supposed to do; they guide their children through an important aspect of education: “critical thinking.” Secondly, some parents guide their child to take that “critical thinking” and put it into action.
My son was successful in many ways because of this project. And I will continue to incorporate real-world education within his public education.
I do hope that next time parents are generalized, interviews will be included.
Thank you,
April Smith
I helped my oldest child with most of his projects…gave him creative ideas, sometimes overzealously suggested scrapbook paper backgrounds on tri-fold boards to make the information pop. I also helped him with his homework, reminded him of deadlines constantly, and studied with him for tests.
It worked out perfect….until 7th grade. Until he became the oldest of 5 and there was NO way I could manage his school work and projects without seriously neglecting 4 younger siblings. Until I realized that the teacher’s had NO idea how much this child was not learning because of comprehension difficulties. Until I realized that by stepping in I was hurting SO much more than helping.
We went cold turkey.
It took a year of really hard lessons and lots of poor grades, and mucho ZIPPING it. And some major dough shelled out for tutoring.
Not fun.
I learned my lesson though. I don’t open back packs…even for my kindergartener. I hardly ever ever issue reminders. I usually answer “you can figure it out I bet” if I get a question about homework…and they almost always do.
I find that kids need to establish that gut feeling of “oh crap”. Some children naturally come by “oh crap”…my daughter being one of them. Others need to have “oh crap” incidents 10 times over before they get “oh crap” is not fun.
My 4th grader just did a report and presentation on a historical figure. Boy, it could have been prettier. And more comprehensive, and detailed. We’ll see how it turns out…he might decide that compared to some of his classmates, he might use more critical thinking and some of his awesome design skills. Or, because he’s a boy, he might decide he was happy with the work he did, and spend most of the time he should have been spending on the project outside playing lacrosse with his brother.
Either way: He owns it.
Awesome post! As usual.
Beckie – I will be sending my first child to school in the fall, and I am dreading the day she brings home a word search. As a former teacher, I feel very strongly that there is ABSOLUTELY NO VALUE in word searches! I don’t know why they are still around. Maybe I could understand if it was extra credit or “for fun.” Why not just give the kids a map of the United States and have them label the states. They would be practicing their map-reading and geography skills as well as their spelling. Sigh…