Parenting 101: The Art of Lovingly Bribing Your Children
Parents have very strong opinions about what they refer to as bribing their children.
I prefer to look at it as an early lesson in action and consequence. If you do something, there will either be a reward or a punishment.
If that is bribery, sign me up.
Potty training my daughter was a nightmare because there was nothing in this world she wanted enough to make her do it (to see that long, sordid journey summarized in one painful post, go here). Treats? Forget it. New toy? Whatever. Revoke beloved cat privileges? “Just make sure to feed him during my absence.”
Parenting the most spirited and stubborn child in the world is a battle of the wills. Since starting kindergarten, she has regressed and we have gone through a new set of challenges. We have also been potty training my son, both of which have caused me to wave a white flag in frustration.
Until we met Super Mario Bros Wii.
There is something about that creepy little mustached man that is like crack cocaine for my children. From Day 1, their reaction has been the extremes: Euphoric when they win, meltdowns when they lose.
But most importantly: I finally found the one thing that would motivate my children to action. Neither are allowed to play Mr. Super Mario unless they are both accident-free.
In the bathroom, that is. There are plenty of near-accidents in the perilous Mushroom Kingdom.
Positive sibling pressure has been a good thing as they encourage the other to go. I.e. “Do you realize because of you, we can’t play Super Mario?”
OK, so maybe it’s not always positive but it is the only thing that has actually worked. And if the Wii can train my kids to go pee?
I’m all about bribery, especially if it results in a catchy marketing slogan for Nintendo.
Fess up: what motivates your children to action?
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We have had many an experience with Mario and Luigi. (We have two men in our Ward that look just like them and it has made for many a less-than-reverent Sabbath experience ; )
Always nice when you can find something that makes the who potty-training experience a little less traumatic.
My thoughts on the subject are quite simple, really. If if isn’t illegal or immoral…bribe them with it.
Harry is far too resistant to even that kind of bribe. It seemed like it took forever before he decided that he would go on the potty and stay accident free.
LOL re: Lauren’s motto and Mario and Luigi look-a-likes!
Believe me, Hadley was JUST like Harry. I was shocked to even find her trigger!
I am so all about bribery. I’ll never forget the first time that it worked. I am sure that I heard the angels singing.
Go Bribery!
Do lollipops in restaurants count?
Sooo not looking forward to potty training. Actually, I don’t think I’m going to do it at all, just hope one day they notice that their friends aren’t wearing adult diapers.
I love the twinned rewards/punishments, too! Although the more compliant child gets the short end of that stick.
Wii works in our house, too, for the boy. For the girl, visits to the Aunt’s house are the lever I’m not afraid to press.
There was a time when Claire would do *ANYTHING* for a sticker.
There is a fine line between “bribery” and “payment for services rendered.” I mean, I’ve done all kinds of horrible tasks for a sticker…my “sticker” just happened to be in the form of a paycheck.
We bribe our kids. And we have to constantly change the item in question. Right now for the 4 year old it is his pirate ships. I took his newest & therefore favorite pirate ship away from him yesterday because he ran away from his primary teacher causing the 70 year old woman to run (literally) all around the church looking for him. Not to mention the near heart failure he caused because she couldn’t find him (he was hiding under a table). He has been remarkably well behaved today. He really wants to earn it back.
Y’all are awesome. Suddenly, I’m not feeling too badly about everything.
I call it “Positive Reinforcement” – not bribing…
Call it what you will… kids need to motivated! I’ve used sweets, late bedtimes, toys and trinkets of all kinds, extra TV time, yada yada yada. If it’s something they value it’s called leverage in my house.
And as Joann alluded to, it’s what we all do in life. If I think there’s something good in it for me, that’s a pretty good motivator. Just so long as we’re also teaching them to think about someone other than themselves somewhere along Route Bribery I think we’re all okay!
More power to you Amber. Work the system girl! And allt hat stuff.
Oh, boy. Is it ‘bribery’? Or ‘negotiation’? Or ‘leverage’? Or ‘teaching the child that there is a relationship between good behaviour and reward, thereby encouraging said child to take responsibility for his/her actions and any and all rewards/refusal of rewards therewith’?
Yeah. A dilemma. Maybe you can see where I fall on this issue
In education we call it Positive Behavior Support. Teach children what we expect them to do, then encourage and acknowledge them when they do it. Fade the concrete reward after awhile and keep the verbal reinforcement.
The “group” recognition helps kids to begin to see outside of themselves and notice that not only do their action impact them, but they impact others as well.
And I totally agree with JoAnn, paychecks are our adult bribes. Just wish there was one delivered every time I cleaned the toilet…maybe that’s why our bathrooms aren’t so spotless.:)lol!