Comments on: Pretending to be Brave http://www.milehighmamas.com/2010/03/18/pretending-to-be-brave/ Denver parenting, with altitude Thu, 09 Feb 2012 02:04:32 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Susan http://www.milehighmamas.com/2010/03/18/pretending-to-be-brave/#comment-8346 Susan Mon, 22 Mar 2010 17:05:44 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=11026#comment-8346 JoAnn - Your story sounds so familiar to me. I was also terrified of the water, and like Gretchen, I had a swim teacher that dunked me, even while my mouth was open and screaming from fear. I have worked my entire life to overcome the youth swim lessons and be comfortable in the water. And even though I enjoy swimming and playing at the pool, I'm not a strong swimmer and still have my fear. That said, I've been on a mission to get my daughters comfortable and strong in the water. My oldest started out as a fish and loved it, until she had a swim instructor who took her out of her comfort zone, scared her, and it took years for her to get back in the groove of swim lessons. At 8, she swims ok, but has already informed me she does not want to do lessons over the summer. I'm still working with her to overcome her fears and build strengths but it is so hard. You've handled your little fish's fears beautifully. I hope she continues to love the water. I think a huge key is finding the right instructor and having them feel safe in the water. JoAnn – Your story sounds so familiar to me. I was also terrified of the water, and like Gretchen, I had a swim teacher that dunked me, even while my mouth was open and screaming from fear. I have worked my entire life to overcome the youth swim lessons and be comfortable in the water. And even though I enjoy swimming and playing at the pool, I’m not a strong swimmer and still have my fear.

That said, I’ve been on a mission to get my daughters comfortable and strong in the water. My oldest started out as a fish and loved it, until she had a swim instructor who took her out of her comfort zone, scared her, and it took years for her to get back in the groove of swim lessons. At 8, she swims ok, but has already informed me she does not want to do lessons over the summer. I’m still working with her to overcome her fears and build strengths but it is so hard.

You’ve handled your little fish’s fears beautifully. I hope she continues to love the water. I think a huge key is finding the right instructor and having them feel safe in the water.

]]> By: Lisa http://www.milehighmamas.com/2010/03/18/pretending-to-be-brave/#comment-8345 Lisa Sat, 20 Mar 2010 03:34:38 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=11026#comment-8345 My boys have taken weekly swim lessons for about five years. They are fabulous swimmers now, but both went through that phase of being afraid they would sink to the bottom and at the same age that Claire is. Curious. I wonder what cognitive piece falls into place at that age that allows them to realize that danger? We were fortunate to have supportive and understanding teachers and, like you, did a lot of pre-teaching before class to find our courage. We had a little song we used to listen to and sing that's chorus was "Don't worry/ about a thing/ cause every little thing/ is gonna be alright." The boys still join in when I start singing during those anxious moments that arise. Congratulations to you and Claire for facing your fears and discovering that you could do what you thought you could not. My boys have taken weekly swim lessons for about five years. They are fabulous swimmers now, but both went through that phase of being afraid they would sink to the bottom and at the same age that Claire is. Curious. I wonder what cognitive piece falls into place at that age that allows them to realize that danger?

We were fortunate to have supportive and understanding teachers and, like you, did a lot of pre-teaching before class to find our courage.

We had a little song we used to listen to and sing that’s chorus was “Don’t worry/ about a thing/ cause every little thing/ is gonna be alright.” The boys still join in when I start singing during those anxious moments that arise.

Congratulations to you and Claire for facing your fears and discovering that you could do what you thought you could not.

]]> By: Denver Roofing: How to Pick the Right Contractor | Denver Roofing: Hail Storm Roofing Experts http://www.milehighmamas.com/2010/03/18/pretending-to-be-brave/#comment-8344 Denver Roofing: How to Pick the Right Contractor | Denver Roofing: Hail Storm Roofing Experts Fri, 19 Mar 2010 11:31:03 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=11026#comment-8344 [...] Pretending to be Brave | Denver Mile High Mamas [...] [...] Pretending to be Brave | Denver Mile High Mamas [...]

]]> By: JoAnn http://www.milehighmamas.com/2010/03/18/pretending-to-be-brave/#comment-8343 JoAnn Fri, 19 Mar 2010 03:06:03 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=11026#comment-8343 Thanks, Lori! I totally agree with you on the skiing part...and the July part. July *is* comfortable. ;) Thanks, Lori! I totally agree with you on the skiing part…and the July part. July *is* comfortable. ;)

]]> By: Lori http://www.milehighmamas.com/2010/03/18/pretending-to-be-brave/#comment-8342 Lori Thu, 18 Mar 2010 23:36:40 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=11026#comment-8342 Wow, you do a great job. It is a fine line to respect their fear and also to not let it take root. Well done. P.S. I had deep water fears AND skiing fears. P.P.S. Amber, COLD!! October - April anyway. July is comfortable. Wow, you do a great job.

It is a fine line to respect their fear and also to not let it take root.

Well done.

P.S. I had deep water fears AND skiing fears.

P.P.S. Amber, COLD!! October – April anyway.

July is comfortable.

]]> By: JoAnn http://www.milehighmamas.com/2010/03/18/pretending-to-be-brave/#comment-8341 JoAnn Thu, 18 Mar 2010 22:10:38 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=11026#comment-8341 Amber, people actually think it's COLD here, and that we get too much snow. I know! I can't convince them differently either... ;) Amber, people actually think it’s COLD here, and that we get too much snow. I know! I can’t convince them differently either… ;)

]]> By: Amber's Crazy Bloggin' Canuck http://www.milehighmamas.com/2010/03/18/pretending-to-be-brave/#comment-8340 Amber's Crazy Bloggin' Canuck Thu, 18 Mar 2010 21:19:34 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=11026#comment-8340 The weather in Denver is "pretty mild?" TRY BLAZING HOT. That is all. :-) Oh, and I think you handled it beautifully. The weather in Denver is “pretty mild?”

TRY BLAZING HOT.

That is all. :-)

Oh, and I think you handled it beautifully.

]]> By: JoAnn http://www.milehighmamas.com/2010/03/18/pretending-to-be-brave/#comment-8339 JoAnn Thu, 18 Mar 2010 20:33:38 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=11026#comment-8339 Oh, Gretchen! My heart goes out to you! I don't remember what caused my fear of the water...I just remember being TERRIFIED. It took YEARS, but I finally got over it. I had a really good teacher who finally helped me conquer it. I'll never forget her. As for what happened in Claire's class, I don't think we'll ever know. Whatever it was derailed more than one kid, and I just HOPE we're able to continue to make steps forward. Oh, Gretchen! My heart goes out to you! I don’t remember what caused my fear of the water…I just remember being TERRIFIED. It took YEARS, but I finally got over it. I had a really good teacher who finally helped me conquer it. I’ll never forget her.

As for what happened in Claire’s class, I don’t think we’ll ever know. Whatever it was derailed more than one kid, and I just HOPE we’re able to continue to make steps forward.

]]> By: Gretchen White http://www.milehighmamas.com/2010/03/18/pretending-to-be-brave/#comment-8338 Gretchen White Thu, 18 Mar 2010 20:26:22 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=11026#comment-8338 I think you handled it beautifully. I had a severe fear of water as a child, thanks to a swim teacher who dunked me. I was 4, like Claire, and remember it vividly. It was very hard to trust swim teachers after that. A few years later, ANOTHER swim teacher carried me to the top of the high dive and jumped off with me in his arms. I screamed. He wouldn't stop. It's so easy for adults to shatter a child's trust, either via outright cruelty or even a subtle, overheard, off-hand remark. Parents must undo the damage. Unfortunately, my experiences led me to have a lifelong fear of water. To this day, I am a rotten swimmer. I think you handled it beautifully.

I had a severe fear of water as a child, thanks to a swim teacher who dunked me. I was 4, like Claire, and remember it vividly. It was very hard to trust swim teachers after that. A few years later, ANOTHER swim teacher carried me to the top of the high dive and jumped off with me in his arms. I screamed. He wouldn’t stop.

It’s so easy for adults to shatter a child’s trust, either via outright cruelty or even a subtle, overheard, off-hand remark.

Parents must undo the damage. Unfortunately, my experiences led me to have a lifelong fear of water. To this day, I am a rotten swimmer.

]]> By: JoAnn http://www.milehighmamas.com/2010/03/18/pretending-to-be-brave/#comment-8337 JoAnn Thu, 18 Mar 2010 18:54:13 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=11026#comment-8337 Thanks, Joanna! I kept thinking about how "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself" and how fearing my child's fear is a powerful force, too. But, I pretended not to fear them, and she couldn't tell the difference either. ;) Thanks, Joanna! I kept thinking about how “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself” and how fearing my child’s fear is a powerful force, too. But, I pretended not to fear them, and she couldn’t tell the difference either. ;)

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