It’s Like Learning How to Not Kill Your Child As She Learns to Ride a Bike
On Wednesday, I posted the following on Twitter:
Off to bang my head against the wall a.k.a. once again attempt to teach 5-yr-old Hadley to ride her bike.
I was only kind of joking. My husband Jamie and I tried to teach her last summer but to no avail. To be fair, it was a half-hearted attempt and we kept giving up out of frustration.
Last week, I decided this is The Summer of No Return.
All of her friends can ride on two wheels. In fact, many who are her same age have been doing it for a couple of years. I jokingly call one of our neighborhood families “athletic freaks of nature” because their boys were careening down the block at age 2.
Of course, they also couldn’t stop and could be heard howling “HELLLLLLLLP!”
With an emphasis on the first few letters.
I don’t remember learning to ride my bike. I guess I always assumed when I taught my children, it would be a bonding experience. In all my infinite bike wisdom, I would instruct them accordingly, then run along behind them as I guided their path. After a few failed attempts, I would release them and they would soar away as I sang out, “Fly little bird, fly!”
Instead, my experience has been “YOU’RE BEING ABSURD. YOU WON’T DIE!”
My daughter Hadley is athletic and normally fearless. She brazenly confronts most situations but learning to ride a bike is not one of them. Already at 5 years old, our relationship is a complicated one. We’re a lot alike–both the good and bad. She’s a spirited firecracker like me but also shares my lack of patience. It’s only a matter of time before one of us will eventually melt down.
With Bike Riding 101, we both did.
“I can’t do it. It’s too hard,” she blubbered.
I instantly snapped back at her, “Of course you can! Don’t ever say ‘can’t.’”
As I looked at her dejected, frustrated face, I realized I had to change my approach.
“If you don’t think you can do it, you won’t. But if you tell yourself you can, you will.” I lovingly proceeded to expound upon the intricacies of sports psychology. Most was lost on her except for my key message.
“Hadley, I want you to shout out, “‘I THINK I CAN!’”
The Little Engine That Could ain’t the only one who can do positive affirmation.
She was tentative at first but each time she bellowed it, she started believing. And the more she started believing it, the more she started doing it. She progressed from biking a few feet to 50 feet. I sprinted beside her the entire time.
When we arrived back to the car, I wheezed, “Now, I want you to shout in your loudest voice, “I DID IT!”
“I DID DO IT,” she jubilantly squealed.
At that very moment, her 3-year-old brother slowly hobbled up beside us on her old bike, lost his balance and smashed into the car like a mosquito on the windshield.
One out of two kids ain’t bad.
What have been your experiences with teaching your children to ride a bike?
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We’re not really there yet with Claire. She loves her tricycle, and she’s really good at her bike-with-training-wheels (they barely even touch the ground anymore). One of these days, we’ll take the training wheels off and see if she notices. ;)
I was certain my almost six year old would never learn to ride a bike. Her training wheels suited her quite nicely, and after one attempt when she was four she swore off ever trying again. It was getting a little embarrassing living in a mountain town where most kids are riding gear-shifting bikes up single track trails at the age of four. Finally my friend who was visiting from Denver said, “I’ll make you a deal, if you try with me we will go to Lyon’s Drug for a Milkshake afterwards!” (I’m an anti-rewards parent in general, was certain she would want to learn some day). Voila! We were riding that evening. I guess rewards may have their place
I never got more exercise than the summer Tessa learned to ride a bike.
Until 2 years later when Reed did.
Wheeze is right!
Poor Bode.
The best success we’ve had to having the kids ride on grass. It slows them down and eases the blow when they fall. The hardest part is starting. Once they can learn that whole balance on one foot, push down with the other, hop on the seat — YOU ARE HOME FREE. But that is typically the last to come. The grass is the only way to go at first.
LOL!!!! I still remember all my fiascos when I was learning to ride my bike : (
Great insights, everyone! I need to ask my parents if they remember teaching me to ride a bike. Something tells me it was rather memorable to say the least. :-)
She needs lessons from luke who learned to ride a 2 wheeler before he was 2 1/2. he doesn’t charge much.
Luke is the athletic freak of nature to which I was referring!
What? He teaches, too? :-)
I just got Amanda on two wheels last fall just as she turned 7!! But I do have to say that after the entire summer of not even trying because of how miserable the whole thing had been in the past, at 7 she absolutly “got it” very quickly. A couple strides with my hand gripping her coat and she was off. It’s no fun, no doubt… good luck!
Trust me – we are in the same boat my friend. I have watched all of the other kids how to ride without the trainers all last summer, in fact, within hours that they were taken off the bike. But Kaelen who is 5 also? Nope. Not a chance. And with the failed attempts comes tears and wails from the boy and a pounding headache from Mom. I have decided that Kaelen can use them until he is 40 if he wishes however my husband is not accepting of that program and is determined to have our son riding on his own. Good luck!!
with micah — he’d been riding with training wheels for a while — one night we were feeding the missionaries and he’d gone out to ride his bike while we finished up. next thing i know he’s zooming around the house and on to the sidewalk training wheel free — as he’d decided it was time to take them off and just ride.
Amber, When our son was three we bought him a two wheeler and he just took to it like a duck to water. We had to take the training wheels off as he did not need them. He had however practice on a moulded motorcycle my young brother had and it had the wheels on the front with the handle bars. He just kept getting on and going a little until he mastered it. He never gave up. I guess I was lucky.
I would be the horrible mom who hasn’t even suggested taking the training wheels off of my barely 7 year old’s bike. I’m seriously tempted to teach the 4 year old first because he would totally get it… But she did ask if we would take them off yesterday.
I have decided many parents are more reluctant to do it than the kids. :-)
[...] It's Like Learning How to Not Kill Your Child As She Learns to … [...]
I didn’t read all of the comments, so you may have heard this already, but riding in the grass first is a big confidence booster. If they fall, it’s soft and doesn’t seem as scary. It has worked for us.
Congrats on getting the job done with good ol’ positive reinforcement, though! Anytime you can convince a child they can do something by teaching them to believe in themselves is a true life lesson!
I remember being taught to ride a bike – I had Steve’s old bike with the gold sparkly banana seat (God bless the 70’s!). Dad took the training wheels off and threw them in the garbage. Then he told me I HAD to learn, because the training wheels were gone. Wearing shorts and riding in our back alley – I think I still have gravel embedded in me from that day 30-something years ago!! I remember when you learned a two-wheeler; I don’t think I was there that day though.
How funny that you remember when I learned to ride. I’m definitely getting old. :)
That’s too bad about the reunion. Please do let me know when you’ll be in the country – maybe we can meet for lunch in Red Deer – I’m willing to be your kids have never had lunch at Gasoline Alley in Red Deer!
It is bizarre the things I remember – no rhyme nor reason to it!
We learned a neat trick to help teach kids to ride a two wheeler, usually about 20 minutes. Maybe a couple times/sessions. Well worth it, and bu.ds their confidence. Definately need to video tape the process…helps control mommies temper…someone is watching.
It’s a balance-while, stationary, and turning the handle bars into the direction of the fall.
Example.: WHILE HOLDING YOUR PRECIOUS CARGO, she will balance on the bike staying still, as you gently keep your hand on the bike & handlebars. Naturally she will lean to one side on the other…WHEN THIS HAPPENS, you help her turn the handle bars in the same direction..(If she fall right, then turn the handle bars right…etc…) BAck & forth it goes…left right, right left…etc…quick little adjustments, with MOM barely holding on.
Do this for only about five minutes…then go on a very small decline and incorporate the balancing as described, while slowly moving…the moving makes it easier. Mom is actually in toward the from of the bike, helping with the steering, versus the back/seat and “push and go…” as you say “fly little birdie”…
..instead you are helping with the wings.
I takes a little bit of time, and they get the concept that they are in control of the bike. I can show you, …it works,
…Must teach braking too…I know…duh!
I love this post. It reminds me of when my father taught me how to ride my bike. I so so surprised that he didn’t loose patience with me because it took FOREVER for me to learn how to ride. lol
Yeah, um, our 7 year old is still terrified of falling off her bike. We’ve ditched the training wheels, but we have a long way to go… Bike riding is definitely NOT my favorite thing to teach!
Amber, Amber, Amber,
You know that resources are out there to help you out. Just like my site http://outdoorbaby.net. We published many articles on how to help your children to learn how to ride a bike.
For your youngest, I would really suggest getting a balance bike.
Don\’t worry to much though, all those Olympic athletes you saw have fallen many times.
Heidi Ahrens
You make me laugh, Amber. I love it, “YOUR BEING UBSURD. YOU WON’T DIE!” That’s good stuff, right there.
Congrats on 1 out of 2 children knowing how to ride. I am sure Bode will catch on…once the head wound heals.
The bike riding lessons were tortuous for us! At 5 we finally started trying, at 6 he was ready to learn, lol. Eventually the big deserted schoolbus transfer station was the best place to learn and practice and now he loves bike riding. This summer, child#2 needs to be taught. And the fun starts again…
I totally feel guilty now. My son will be 7 1/2 this summer snd still does not know how to ride a bike. In my defense we live in the county and do not have sidewalks or anywhere else to learn. We have lots and lots of gravel roads though. Like 3-4 inches of gravel on all surfaces. Learning to ride a bike in gravel is TOUGH. But I will have him try again on the lawn. That is a perfect solution. Why did I not think of that earlier?