Christmas shopping haiku
Santa is scary
Beard like albino ferret,
Food court taco breath.
The busy bathroom,
Dancing and anxious they wait
Regretting eggnog.
…
I am next in line
So why do you crowd in front?
You must be special.
My ears just fell off,
Too weary from “Silver Bells”
Played ten dozen times.
Food court carousel
Spins festively fast around,
Unwise location.
Carousel rider
You appear rather greenish!
Next time eat then ride.
Want the “free” gift wrap?
It only costs six dollars
Looks like an eyesore.
Parking lot stalker
Do you think my space is close?
I assure you, it’s not.
Parking lot stalker
You idle hopelessly long–
Small kids to strap in.
Bags full of presents
They will say “I love it!” but
Re-gift it next year.
“Out of stock” you say?
You lured me with free shipping,
have something to sell.
Hopes restored, then dashed!
The big brown truck rumbles by…
Stopping at neighbor’s.
Hey! My tracking code
says you’ll deliver today.
No? Stuck in Duluth?
I had no idea Christmas shopping could be so poetic. In fact, I have always viewed it as anything but.
Hilarious!
Oh my gosh, you captured this time of year perfectly. Uugh. I ran into the same deal with online shopping, promises of low prices but nothing in stock. Grrr.
This was hilarious Gretchen.
I adore haiku!
The poems make me laugh, and
they make my heart smile.
Yes, this comment is
written in a haiku style.
I could not resist.
You never cease to amaze and amuse me, Gretchen. Brilliant.
Wow, you make it sound so fun, Gretchen. LOL.
Brilliantly done!! Kudos to you as always.
Those last two stanzas perfectly capture my sentiment from last year’s holidays. I managed to avoid almost all shopping at the mall, and instead felt smug for ordering online.
The smugness vanished when we got snowed in and mail/UPS/FedEx/carrier pigeons didn’t arrive until two days AFTER Christmas.
By stanza four, I was feeling affirmed in my decision to NEVER venture into the mall this holiday season. Even if my packages do get stuck in Duluth.
Fabulous!! Hooked me with the Santa stanza and I couldn’t stop.
[...] more Christmas shopping haikus, pop over to my previous ode to mall shopping, haiku [...]