Earning My Mom Badge
I have loved Tessa from the the moment I knew of her existence, but the lovin’ wasn’t proven until she was about 3 months old.
My husband Rob had a conference in Costa Rica one summer, and I didn’t want to miss the chance to travel with him. So we recruited two babysitters — the kind who buy their own airline tickets and hotel room — a.k.a “parents.” Mine.
Three-month-old babies have a surprising amount of stuff. Clothing, diapers, wipes, and (in our case) formula, bottles, washing paraphernalia and drool cloths. One of the bulkiest things a baby
needs is a bath.
I envisioned getting on the plane with all her stuff and my stuff and a car seat and a stroller, and it was easy to decide we could do without the bath. I’d just have her take a bath with me.
Our hotel room had a beautiful deck bath. Deep but not long or wide. I filled it up (it took awhile because of the volume) and got in with Tessa. We played and burbled for awhile, happy in our liquid cocoon.
If you’ve read some of my other posts, you might know what’s coming. Go ahead. Try to look away.
Somewhere during Rubber Ducky (who makes bath time lots of fun) Tessa got that look on her face. The one where her mouth turns into a downward arc which is not a frown. The one that shows exertion.
I couldn’t get us out of the bath quickly enough without putting us both at risk. I yelled for Rob, for my mom, for anyone sitting in the next room.
At best (I’m thinking) the product of her efforts will be discrete. Contained. Easily removable. Pleasegod, pleasegod, pleasegod.
But noooooooo.
Within seconds, I am sitting in a vat of poop soup. Baby Tessa has the squirts.
What could I do?
My mom comes in, and quickly assesses what has happened. She grabs Tessa from me, and I open the drain.
Mom works at the sink to clean up Tessa, who is squealing happily at the crap storm she has unleashed. I wait in the tub as the soup recedes, shivering and wanting desperately to get clean. It takes forever because of the sheer volume of water, and for the, um, is viscosity the right word?
While trying to decide the best way out of this mess, Mom and I start to laugh hysterically. Tessa gets in on our giggles as well. (I just HOPE she was laughing WITH me and not AT me. But I’m not sure.)
Mom and I share a moment of knowing. I feel like I did the day I bridged from Brownies to Girl Scouts. See, I didn’t cross the bridge into Motherhood via the usual route: pregnancy, labor, childbirth. There was never a defining moment where I felt accepted into the sisterhood of mothers.
Until Costa Rica, where I most definitely earned my badge.
Suffice to say that we eventually got ourselves and the bathroom squeaky clean. (Can I just say once again how much I love my mom?)
Tessa loves this story. I wonder if she’ll feel the same in a few years when she’s all dressed up for prom and waiting on her tuxedo’ed date?
How did you earn your mom badge?
Popularity: 52% [?]
Ugh. That is the ultimate way of earning your mom badge. I have definitely had that happen to me and it was not pretty.
How was I inaugurated into motherhood? I gave birth to a colicky, sleepless baby and was IMMEDIATELY humbled.
We’ve had the cr@pstorm in the tub, but not while I was in it. Yikes! Yes, as a mom, we deal with the foulest stuff without hazard pay! Being a little human is definitely messy business!
i would say i earned my mom badge right from the start. I gave birth via c-section (although I desperately wanted a natural birth) 4 weeks early to a 4.5 lb baby boy. He was healthy as a horse though and we were home 36 hours later. However my breast milk never came in. We worked very hard to fatten him up but we definitely had no idea what we were doing in those days. they say to sleep when they sleep but it was monthes before i would allow myself sleep because i was constantly checking on him making sure he was breathing and healthy.
I have the traditional sleepless night and puking, pooping, lactating in embarrassing situation stories. And LOTS of them. But true initiation didn’t come until I had 3 children (all ages 3 and under.)
And, of course, potty training brings a whole new level of initiation. Diapers are easier!!!!
These comments are so true. We earn out Mom Badges every day!
Err…that would be “our” Mom Badges. Hate typos. :-)
Why do Mom Badges so often deal with bodily fluids? Why can’t you earn one, say, by eating chocolate and getting massages?
Thanks, ladies for sharing your badge stories!
[...] Earning My Mom Badge – The Denver Moms Blog, Mile High Mamas [...]
Yuck! Thankfully, I don’t have THAT mom badge on my sash, and I’m totally okay with it. One of the ones I have (because we all have tons!) involved being blasted at 3am and having to take a shower to get it out of my hair, after cleaning the wall first. There was no bathtub involved, but you get the idea. AND, I even let my hubby sleep through that, thus earning an extra cool pin for my sash. Ha!
JoAnn — oof! You most DEFinitely earned a badge.
And your hubby really should get you a diamond-encrusted pin for THAT one.
Lori, please don’t use the word “encrusted” when dealing with this subject. Thanks. LOL!