I was the creamy filling between the rock and the hard place
I saw a woman holding a baby on her lap. The baby had strawberry blonde hair and appeared to be around ten months old. I watched them happily interact. A man sat to the left of them.
Then the light turned green.
The sweet scene I had just witnessed happened to be in the front seat of a car.
They made a left turn. So did I.
I called the police’s non-emergency line to report what I saw. After I gave the description of the vehicle and the direction it was traveling, I snapped my phone shut and felt absolutely terrible.
Why do I feel bad about doing the right thing? I don’t want anyone to get into trouble. I don’t want to be a Mrs. Kravitz.
Yet I don’t want to be the person who could have prevented a tragedy, but didn’t.
I vividly remember hopping from seat to seat to seat in our big green and wood-paneled station wagon. We only had to wear seat belts if we were on the interstate. When my mom drove our red Pinto she let me sit in the front seat and shift the gearstick for fun. There were no laws regarding seat belts or car seats. My parents weren’t careless or neglectful by early 1970s standards. Today’s standards would have demanded orange jumpsuits and mandatory court appearances.
Perhaps that is why I feel so odd regarding my Citizen on Patrol moment. The strawberry blonde baby was sitting on a soft lap, being held by encircling arms. They interacted and seemed happy. They were traveling together.
Separated by two panes of glass and thirty years, I considered the scene and decided it was wrong.
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I once confroted a mom and dad at a gas station with three toddlers in their car without any carseats. They explained they were moving and driving across the country; I explained in Oregon driving without kids in proper carseats was illegal!
I am certain those children went on riding free of restraint. In retrospect I should have called the police, and would not hesitate to do so today. You did the right thing.
Elizabeth
Perhaps there was a car seat used appropriately in the back – they were just on a long trip and the baby got fussy and was removed from her car seat until she calmed down.
I should think that a wailing baby would be a distraction and might cause an accident.
Personally, I wouldn’t have called unless they were driving down the highway, speeding, etc. with baby not appropriately strapped in – and especially if there wasn’t even a car seat in the car.
Tattle Tale, Tattle Tale!
Just Kidding.
I would have done the same thing. It’s no surprise that babies should be in car seats and everyone in a seat belt. You can’t even bring your baby home from the hospital unless you have a car seat and they know YOU know how to use it. That child has no say in his or her safety and that is what parents are for right? If an adult chooses to be seat belt free and gets seriously hurt from it is one thing, but a baby who has no choice is another. If we can put rubber bumpers on our fireplace to prevent a head bump, we can take the crying of our baby in a car seat to prevent things I don’t even want to think about.
I think you did the right thing, good work!
http://whatwasisayingagain1018.blogspot.com/
You definitely did the right thing. You weren’t judge and jury. You just acted as a concerned mother and citizen. Who knows if the police even found them or did anything about it? You did what you felt you had to do; kudos to you!
People assume that if you’re in town or on a slow moving street that it’s “safer” than on the Interstate or traveling far from home. Sadly, the statistics don’t support those claims. Most accidents happen within blocks of your home. Unrestrained children can be severely injured or killed in “slow moving” crashes. (I don’t have an exact source. A search on google provides a plethora of data.)
I shudder to think what “could have” happened. As mothers, we’re forced to see into the future constantly. Do we know for sure what *will* happen? No. But, we know what *could* happen, and we need to do the best we can with what we’re given. You did the right thing.
You did the right thing! A very dear family to us has four children and when the youngest was a baby they were driving home from a wedding 30 miles away and he got fussy in his seat. They pulled him out of the seat to calm him and unfortunetly they were in an accident and the baby lost his life. We all have to remember that we have a motherly instinct for a reason and we have to follow the direction that it leads us and hope that is is the right way.
I appreciate the dilemma, because I would have had the same problem becoming Mrs Kravitz.
But, like you, I would have done the same thing.
Good on ya.
You did the right thing! Why is it wrong to hold a baby in the car, but on an airplane it is okay when you are traveling much faster with greater forces?! That rule needs to be changed.
PLEASE always take your baby’s car seat on the plane and pay for seat (usually half price).
When we had small children we had two carseats, one in my car and one in my husband’s car. One day when he was traveling alone he stopped at a gas station and saw a very young child sitting in the car without a car seat. Without a thought my husband gave the driver the carseat he had in his car. I thought he did the right thing and was proud of him for doing it.
Another time when I had both my children in the car, one still a baby and in a carseat, I was hit on the driver’s side by a truck. When my car finally stopped the first thing I did was whip my head around to make sure my boys were okay, and they were. When the paramedics arrived, they said it was a good think my baby was strapped in his carseat, and that they’d never pulled a dead baby out of one.
You did the right thing. At least, hopefully, it gave them something to think about.
http://godtreasure.blogspot.com
It’s such a difficult situation and I think I would have to consider the state of mind I am in at the time, when faced with it… I don’t know what I’d do! And I have to second the above commenter- have you seen the incredibly crazy things that can happen at a regular (non-crash) take off or landing on an airplane? That’s a place that often parents hold babies on their laps but if you CAN have a car seat in a seat, that is (while expensive and inconvenient) the safest.
Steph
It was brave of you to follow through with your phone call. Too many of us decided not to intrude. You absolutely did the right thing.
As to unstrapping a child to soothe them, I never have & never will, knowing anything can happen at any moment. If you need to soothe your child, please, pull over, don’t continue driving with them in your lap.
http://www.mamabirdsblog.com
I think because so much of parenting is a huge gray area that we like to seize on those things that seem black and white. I would not have called the police. I would have assumed that would only make things worse for the family — would they have to appear in court? go to classes? be visited by child protective services? all because they left their carseat at home, or their baby got fussy? I judge other parents all the time, but hesitate to get the state involves in people’s personal choices.
It’s always hard in these types of situations to know what is right or not. Go with your gut feeling — its usually right.
You absolutely did the right thing.
About four or five years ago, I witnessed a car accident that involved a woman whose two young children (about 11 months and 3 years) were not restrained. My most vivid memory of that day has nothing to do with the screech of the metal or the stench of burned rubber. Nothing to do with the sound of flames on a car fuel tank, or the panicked screaming from dozens of people running around to help and phoning in the police.
No. My most vivid memory is fishing those kids out of the car while their mother begged someone to help her, begged someone to get her kids out. And realizing after I’d fished out one that the other was bleeding profusely from the head, from where she’d been dragged along asphalt. Neither kid died, but both suffered injuries that COULD HAVE been prevented. That WOULD HAVE been prevented had they been in carseats.
Wow. I think Sarah’s comment captures it all.
I just keep thinking about a poster I saw in a doctor’s office. It had pictures of children, babies and toddlers, who died in car crashes because they weren’t buckled in. And next to each picture was a quote from a parent telling why they unbuckled their kids, to calm them down or feed them or comfort them, only for a moment. But in that short moment while their kids were unbuckled, they crashed and their babies died.
We were just talking to our kids TODAY about why there are laws. It’s not to make life complicated or frustrating or NOT fun (although sometimes it feels like that). In fact laws are there to help and keep people safe. They keep our society from turning to absolute chaos.
Unfortunately, I think that many of are so used to feeling like it’s not our business, that we feel guilty when we do try to help our public servants by reporting lawlessness.
When we are talking about life, there’s no question it’s better to be “safe than sorry.”
You did the right thing. Nevermind the awkward questions for the parents, our job as adults in the world is to protect the children, ours and other people’s children. That little kid is completely innocent to her parents’ neglect and deserves to be safe and protected, by you, or the police, if her own parents won’t do it.
Completely insane to take kids out of car seats and I have to argue with my husband about this all the time.
My cousin was 6 weeks old when his mother was placing him back into his infant seat after nursing him in the car. Her husband, my uncle, was at the same time pulling out of a parking lot into the street. They ALWAYS buckled up and ALWAYS wore seatbelts. They were in a bit of a hurry and right when she was leaning over to buckle him into his infant seat they were broadsided by a drunk driver going 60mph. The baby was thrown 30 ft from the car with breast milk still on his mouth. He died instantly. His name was Drew. The mother, my aunt also died later in the hospital because she was also unbuckled while she was putting him in the seat.
That is the very reason that I will never have my kids unbuckled in the car. Ever. The baby may be fussy, the baby may cry, but you never know when a drunk driver, or someone texting while driving or something similar will happen. You cannot control things like that… you can control your driving but there are too many other drivers and therefore other variables on the road to control.
You did the right thing by calling. Sometimes it does take a village to raise a child. I prefer to keep the government out of it as much as the next person, but if they just talk to the parents and issue them a ticket, which is likely the result of such an action, then hopefully they will think twice before they decide that having the baby out of the carseat for just a moment is a problem.