Comments on: Your Opinion: The “Controversy” of Birthday Party Thank-you Cards

By: Kylee

Kylee — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 19:31:35 +0000

was asked just today to address my own thank you note at a preschool birthday party…ugh…

would rather not receive one than address my own.

By: Dee

Dee — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 11:43:25 +0000

I know I’m biased because I used to own a stationery company that made a ton of childrens’ thank you notes. I do think it is appropriate for your children to learn the art of gratitude at a very young age. That being said, a pre-printed thanks for the gift! with a scrawled name on the bottom is all that is needed. My boys are older and write thank you notes to coaches and teachers when appropriate. Yes, they need to be reminded, but it does make a difference in the long run. (My own friends keep yelling stop sending me thank you notes!) I can’t help it, it works for me!

By: Sara

Sara — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 15:55:20 +0000

I think a “Thank You” in person is much better than a card any day. My rule is this – If my child receives a gift from someone in person, whether it be at a Party or elsewhere,they better be giving a sincere “Thank you” including a smile, making eye contact and a hug (if appropriate). If the present is sent to them by mail or if the present giver is not there when the present is opened, we either make a phone call to thank them or send a Thank you card. I personally don’t get the warm & fuzzy feeling when I receive a Thank you card in the mail after a Birthday Party. I know these cards are being sent out in mass quantities to every child who attended the Party and the parent had to take a chunk of time out of their day to do this, not to mention postage is outrageously expensive these days. So, save a tree, money and time and just thank them in person

By: Wondering

Wondering — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 20:39:24 +0000

Is it necessary/appropriate for a grandchild to send a grandparent a thank you note for a birthday present which has been given in person and for which the grandchild gave a verbal “thank you”. My mother-in-law is insulted without such a card.

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By: Guinevere Meadow

Guinevere Meadow — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 18:04:39 +0000

I always have the best INTENTIONS of writing a thank-you card. To me, the important thing is that the gift is somehow acknowledged- either in person, a phone call, an email. I don’t get my feelings hurt if I don’t receive thank-you cards, but when I DO get them, I have to admit it makes me happy!

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 17:53:43 +0000

I think etiquette gurus would say that if you pesonally thank the giver for the gift at the time of receipt, then you’re not obligated to follow up with a written thank you note. I would think this is especially true with kids and birthdays. Along those lines–if I’m sending a gift to someone who is out of town, I do certainly expect a thank you note, since I’m not there to get thanked in person.

I do try to get my kids to write thank yous, and I work on it myself, but nobody’s perfect. A grandmother in our life always calls me afterward to thank me for a lovely dinner, lunch, party, what-have-you, and I always wonder if I’m rude because I don’t do the same when we go to her house.

As far as gifts: I think kids like to give and get gifts, and I think it’s an important thing–learning how to choose a gift your friend will like, rather than what you yourself would like. In the past, I’ve put a monetary limit, e.g., “Gifts not required, but if you must, you are not allowed to spend more than $4.78.” Our close friends get it. And I’m never opposed to a heartfelt, handmade something. Those are like gold.

By: Scooby

Scooby — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 17:19:22 +0000

I don’t send or usually receive thank you cards as a rule but the big exception is when the gift is sent long-distance. If the gift comes thru the mail, I send thank yous to let the giver know that the gift was received & appreciated. And it irks me enormously to SEND a gift long distance and NOT receive a thank you card. How else can I tell if it was received? Unless they call but I usually have to call them.

By: Head Nurse

Head Nurse — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 15:17:27 +0000

Who needs a note?
All gifts should be acknowledged with a note, unless the goodies were opened in front of the giver—then you have the chance to thank them in person. An important exception: many of an older generation expect a hand-written note. Providing them with one is an appropriate gesture of respect and consideration.

This is from Emily Post- I remember reading it and saying- Hurray! I am not a big Thank you Card writer- but I am going to try to repent of that failing-

Here is the link for the rest of the info:

http://www.emilypost.com/everyday/thank_u_note_qna.htm

By: ShanaM

ShanaM — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 15:10:52 +0000

I always send thank you notes. From the time Marissa was about 3 years old, she has written her thank yous herself (sometimes with prodding) but I have always tried to teach her that people don’t HAVE to do anything. They don’t have to come to your party, or give you a gift so they should be thanked when they do.
I don’t neccessarily expect thank you cards myself but I always appreciate them.