Comments on: To spank or not to spank? http://www.milehighmamas.com/2009/03/24/to-spank-or-not-to-spank/ Denver parenting, with altitude Thu, 09 Feb 2012 15:16:13 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Born2Shop http://www.milehighmamas.com/2009/03/24/to-spank-or-not-to-spank/#comment-5991 Born2Shop Sat, 28 Mar 2009 05:08:42 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=2375#comment-5991 I can count the number of times we have spanked my son on the derierre on one hand. Typically with him a stern deep voice, time out or some other consequence was all the discipline needed. Thankfully he has always been naturally easy going and very well behaived (I'm slightly paranoid that because he was so good, he is saving it all up for later). But when it came to a safety issues, like trying to stick objects in the power sockets (after he so cleverly found out how to remove the covers) well that prompted a smack on the hand, which I don't consider a spanking but perhaps falls into the same rhelm. I recall once in the last year where I said, "You are not too old for a spanking mister!" Truthfully though, I think he is too big for a spanking and I remember when I was 8 my Mom gave both my sister and I a spanking for something terrible we had done...and honestly, it didn't hurt one little bit. It probubly would have stung more to take our Barbies away for a day! I can count the number of times we have spanked my son on the derierre on one hand. Typically with him a stern deep voice, time out or some other consequence was all the discipline needed. Thankfully he has always been naturally easy going and very well behaived (I’m slightly paranoid that because he was so good, he is saving it all up for later). But when it came to a safety issues, like trying to stick objects in the power sockets (after he so cleverly found out how to remove the covers) well that prompted a smack on the hand, which I don’t consider a spanking but perhaps falls into the same rhelm.

I recall once in the last year where I said, “You are not too old for a spanking mister!” Truthfully though, I think he is too big for a spanking and I remember when I was 8 my Mom gave both my sister and I a spanking for something terrible we had done…and honestly, it didn’t hurt one little bit. It probubly would have stung more to take our Barbies away for a day!

]]> By: Momma, The Casual Perfectionist http://thecasualperfectionist.com http://www.milehighmamas.com/2009/03/24/to-spank-or-not-to-spank/#comment-5990 Momma, The Casual Perfectionist http://thecasualperfectionist.com Wed, 25 Mar 2009 20:04:49 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=2375#comment-5990 We don't spank our daughter. It's not something I want to start, and thankfully, all other discipline techniques are working. I was raised in a house full of spanking, and it's just not the environment I want here. That being said, different approaches work for different people. We use the time-out primarily (a minute per year of age). When a time-out for my preschooler doesn't seem to be working, I give a time-out to her Puppy (stuffed lovey). THAT is a fate worse than anything EVER. For now. We adjust. So far, so good. Some days, I resist the urge to put in my OWN age into the microwave timer when setting it for a time-out. ;) We don’t spank our daughter. It’s not something I want to start, and thankfully, all other discipline techniques are working.

I was raised in a house full of spanking, and it’s just not the environment I want here.

That being said, different approaches work for different people. We use the time-out primarily (a minute per year of age).

When a time-out for my preschooler doesn’t seem to be working, I give a time-out to her Puppy (stuffed lovey). THAT is a fate worse than anything EVER.

For now. We adjust. So far, so good.

Some days, I resist the urge to put in my OWN age into the microwave timer when setting it for a time-out. ;)

]]> By: Lori in Denver http://www.milehighmamas.com/2009/03/24/to-spank-or-not-to-spank/#comment-5989 Lori in Denver Wed, 25 Mar 2009 14:23:44 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=2375#comment-5989 Insert Amber's first 4 sentences here. In a perfect world, I would always know exactly what strategy would prompt the best behavior. Sometimes it's hard to figure out, in the moment, what is best. Rarely is it spanking, although I won't say never. Insert Amber’s first 4 sentences here.

In a perfect world, I would always know exactly what strategy would prompt the best behavior.

Sometimes it’s hard to figure out, in the moment, what is best. Rarely is it spanking, although I won’t say never.

]]> By: Jenna Hallock http://www.milehighmamas.com/2009/03/24/to-spank-or-not-to-spank/#comment-5988 Jenna Hallock Tue, 24 Mar 2009 20:04:38 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=2375#comment-5988 One of the reasons I feel spanking should not be taught as a tactic for child discipline is simply because there are so many who would abuse it. The last thing I would ever want is for a child to be inflicted with physical pain in a unloving and devaluing way. We have relegated spanking to very specific discipline issues. For instance, when my daughter was first learning about the dangers of parking lots and she would starting running away from me - I would firmly talk with her about what she did and why she was getting a spanking ("If you were to be hit by a car it would hurt much worse than this."). That said, can't actually remember the last time she got a spanking. Now the boy on the other hand... :) I think the best point that was made in this post is that moms (and dads) can sometimes be the ones who need a time out. Is it really that bad or are WE the ones who are just too stressed out? It's worth taking the time to cool off and think about. One of the reasons I feel spanking should not be taught as a tactic for child discipline is simply because there are so many who would abuse it. The last thing I would ever want is for a child to be inflicted with physical pain in a unloving and devaluing way.
We have relegated spanking to very specific discipline issues. For instance, when my daughter was first learning about the dangers of parking lots and she would starting running away from me – I would firmly talk with her about what she did and why she was getting a spanking (“If you were to be hit by a car it would hurt much worse than this.”). That said, can’t actually remember the last time she got a spanking. Now the boy on the other hand… :)

I think the best point that was made in this post is that moms (and dads) can sometimes be the ones who need a time out. Is it really that bad or are WE the ones who are just too stressed out? It’s worth taking the time to cool off and think about.

]]> By: Fiona Cattermole http://www.milehighmamas.com/2009/03/24/to-spank-or-not-to-spank/#comment-5987 Fiona Cattermole Tue, 24 Mar 2009 18:45:07 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=2375#comment-5987 As a parent of (now grown) 3 daughters, I agree that spanking doesn't work in the long run but may act as a deterrent in the short term as a fear tactic. However, stress as you mentioned, can absolutely make us do things we don't agree should be done! As a professional parent/child coach, I try to spread the word far and wide about how to discipline or manage children's behaviors through positive techniques that teach kids how their behaviors can impact themselves as well as others. They can really learn if guided, through their natural mistakes as well as through succeeding at getting things right. Congrats to all parents who make an effort to discipline by means other than spanking! Parenting (only the most important job most of us will ever take on) isn't something we're trained to do, so we read, learn from other parents, and do the best we can. As a parent of (now grown) 3 daughters, I agree that spanking doesn’t work in the long run but may act as a deterrent in the short term as a fear tactic. However, stress as you mentioned, can absolutely make us do things we don’t agree should be done!

As a professional parent/child coach, I try to spread the word far and wide about how to discipline or manage children’s behaviors through positive techniques that teach kids how their behaviors can impact themselves as well as others. They can really learn if guided, through their natural mistakes as well as through succeeding at getting things right.

Congrats to all parents who make an effort to discipline by means other than spanking! Parenting (only the most important job most of us will ever take on) isn’t something we’re trained to do, so we read, learn from other parents, and do the best we can.

]]> By: Amber Johnson http://www.milehighmamas.com/2009/03/24/to-spank-or-not-to-spank/#comment-5986 Amber Johnson Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:48:00 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=2375#comment-5986 Ahhh, spanking. Am I against it? Yes. Have we done it? Yes. Overall, my husband and I are both against spanking. But somewhere in the hell that was the Terrible 3s, nothing got through to our delightful daughter. For about a 4-month period she turned into a veritable beast and timeout was a complete joke. The only discipline that worked was spanking or the threat thereof. And when that horrid period was over? We've never gone back to spanking and have never had to spank our 2 1/2-yr-old son. Ahhh, spanking. Am I against it? Yes. Have we done it? Yes. Overall, my husband and I are both against spanking. But somewhere in the hell that was the Terrible 3s, nothing got through to our delightful daughter. For about a 4-month period she turned into a veritable beast and timeout was a complete joke. The only discipline that worked was spanking or the threat thereof. And when that horrid period was over? We’ve never gone back to spanking and have never had to spank our 2 1/2-yr-old son.

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