Guest blogger Jenna moved from Pennsylvania to Colorado 10 years ago, right after marrying her favorite man in the world, Mark. Her two other favorite people are her daughter Zoe, age 6, and son Elijah, age 3. Love, peace, joy, and kindness are the foundations for her life. She loves to laugh and doesn’t have to look far for a giggle with the chaos the four of them bring to the world and she blogs about it at Peace It Together.

Some of you are having flashbacks to an issue of Good Housekeeping in the 1950s. Others are just red in the face, ready to explode with indignant rage, “Keep him happy!? When was the last time he did anything for me?!?” I fully realize this is a hot topic for women. Whether you are in a “happy” marriage or one of another variety, there is one thing I think is true: unhappy marriages lead to unhappy people and the only person who can do something about that is YOU.

Just relax for a minute and think about it. Can you really control your husband? (No.) Can you make him buy you flowers? (No.) Can you get him to stay at home instead of go play golf with his buddies? (This is debatable. But I think the correct answer is no, because if he does stay home chances are you gave him a huge guilt trip and he’s going to be miserable all day anyway.)

Can you control yourself and your emotions? Absolutely! So rather than being the nag or the instigator or the flat-out angry wife, why not choose to make your husband happy? We all know the divorce rate is staggering. In the last 5 years, more than half of all marriages ended in divorce. In remarriages, the rate is even higher. And why do people remarry? Because that person didn’t make me happy, but someone else will. What a lie!

I guess “happiness” is the wrong word. What if we just decided to keep our promises? Most of us made the same vows at the altar: to LOVE each other in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, ’til death do us part. Love isn’t always a feeling of happiness, but to love and be loved brings a happiness that is unparalleled in this world.

So let’s just say we call it happiness. How do you do it? How do you keep your husband “happy?” How do you keep him from looking at other women or resenting you? How can you make him feel like you love him more today than you ever have before? Well, there’s no step-by-step program, but I have a few ideas.

Men are visual creatures and science has proved it. How do you look to your husband? Is he happy with your appearance? I’m not suggesting you pull a June Clever, but how about a shower, some make- up, and a pair of designer jeans?

Now what about his favorite things? Or should I say favorite THING? Don’t make me spell it out for you… just remember that big t-shirt doesn’t count as lingerie and the bedroom is for so much more than sleeping.

I’d count food toward favorite things too. Surely you know what his favorite meals are! Make them once or twice a week even if the do require an extra trip to the grocery store or a few extra calories. And speaking of extra calories, my guess is that one of his favorite things at least used to be some kind of sport. Encourage him to go play with his buddies. He’ll burn off some steam and that will give you time to do something for yourself too.

Have you had a date lately? If you’re not having fun together it can really take a toll on your marriage. Take time to talk and to laugh together. Get out of the house (especially without the kids when possible) and just enjoy one another’s company.

Sounds like a lot of work, right? But aren’t these the things that our husbands loved about us when we were dating? How can we expect our husbands to be happy if we aren’t doing anything to help the cause? Life is tough for all of us. If you’re lucky enough to have a spouse to share the journey with, I say enjoy it! And you may not believe me now, but if you begin to work on making your husband happy you’re going to find that you are happy too.