The Kid Blender:  A Single Mom’s Attempt to Find Joy in an Unexpected Life
February 8, 2012 – 8:00 am | 3 Comments

In this series of blogs, the “Kid Blenders,” I will be addressing our challenges, trying to blend our two families together. The names of the children will be changed to spare the easily embarrassed. And let me be upfront about this: I’m no clinical expert. I’m just a single mom trying to figure life out as I go. But knowing that there are around 14 million single parents out there…I’m guessing that I’m not alone in this venture.

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Home » Children, Motherhood

Good Wrinkles

Submitted by on March 3, 2009 – 12:00 amNo Comment

“Don’t make a bad wrinkle, Momma.” Claire said to me, out of the blue. “Make a good wrinkle!”

“What?” I asked her, confused.

“A bad wrinkle! You have a bad wrinkle,” she said, pointing to my forehead. “Make a good wrinkle!”

I couldn’t help but smile, because I’d actually figured out what she meant, and I was shocked that she’d noticed.

“Like that!” she said in approval. “Yes. That’s a good wrinkle!”

She was talking about the two little vertical lines I get between my eyebrows when I frown, and she must correlate those with Momma not being happy.

Luckily, our life is full of happiness and laughter, but sometimes I frown without even knowing it. Sometimes I frown for obvious reasons, but sometimes I frown when I’m concentrating or when I’m confused. Even with all the laughter, do you know how much concentration and confusion surrounds me and my preschooler? A lot. Apparently. I’ve not stopped concentrating, and I’ve learned to roll with the confusion, but I’ve been consciously working on raising my eyebrows.

You see, I get horizontal wrinkles, “good wrinkles,” on my forehead when I raise my eyebrows. And, those good wrinkles are a sure sign that I’m happy.

What they say is true: When Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

Kids are so perceptive. They see things we don’t even see in ourselves. I furrow my brows when I concentrate. I furrow my brows when I’m frustrated. I furrow my brows when I’m angry.

And, those are bad wrinkles. Nobody wants bad wrinkles.

A lot of this goes hand in hand with things I’ve learned from my previous lives. The Social Worker in me is always cognizant of showing an open stance. Crossed arms are not welcoming. A nodding head is comforting. Looking people in the eye, depending on which eye you look into, can give people a sense of calm or can be seen as a subconscious act of aggression. Use it wisely.

The Sales Director in me smiles a lot. I always smile when I’m on the phone. The person you’re talking to can hear a smile.

Almost everything I ever learned in college and from my previous jobs can be applied to my job now: Full-time Momma. Part of me had forgotten the importance of some of this stuff, but it all came crashing back into my head when it was revealed to me that I had a bad wrinkle.

Seeing these ingrained habits of mine in print makes it sound like my every move is calculated…but it’s not. After years of doing these things, they just become second nature. But, apparently, I was starting to slack in the Bad Wrinkle Prevention Department.

And, the last thing I need is more wrinkles…let alone bad ones.





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