Kyra, my youngest child, has to go through a day care evaluation every single day. This evaluation is good and necessary because it helps us in making future decisions. For example, we might decide that ice cream for after-dinner dessert is a bad idea. Or we might tolerate grouchiness a little more readily, depending on the all-important evaluation answers.

The evaluation, which is titled “A Little Bit about My Day” goes like this:

Name: Kyra

1. I enjoyed:_______________________

2. I ate______________________ of my lunch.

3. I _____________ take a nap.

4. I felt _____________________ today.

5. I had _____________ manners today.

I understand that most of these answers aren’t formally asked of her, but observed and then noted. If they were discussing dental hygiene today, the first line will probably say, “I enjoyed making my toothbrush chart!” If she ate all of her applesauce but didn’t touch the broccoli, #2 will say I ate some of my lunch. The nap question is pretty straight-forward answered with either a DID or a DID NOT, and the last line is usually answered with a “good,” except on the days when she does her Linda Blair routine in which case it’s answered with a very sarcastic “OKAY.”

It’s that fourth question that confounds me. At first glance, it appears to me that it ALSO could be answered by observation. If she had a runny nose and was low-energy, you could answer it with an “I felt ill today.” If she was happy and participatory, it could be answered with, “I felt GREAT today!” But, based on the evaluation slip we receive daily, they don’t go by observation. Instead, it would appear that, come closing time, they pull out their psychiatric pad and pencil, get down to her eye level and say, “Kyra, how did you FEEEEL today?” I’ve never been there when the question is posed, but I imagine her pausing, setting down her wooden blocks, looking off into the horizon as she carefully considers the question. Then she becomes quite profound. “I fet like a refrigerator today,” she might say. Or “I felt like a wizard today.” (Which is actually a LIZARD in Kyraspeak.)

My theory was that someone at this day care was bored senseless, dreaming of a different life for themselves, maybe in the field of stand-up comedy, trying desperately to make their job a bit more interesting, snickering to themselves as they tried to think up a better answer to question #4 than the day before… Wouldn’t it be cute if I told Kyra’s parents that she felt like a drunk driver today??

I decided to put my theory to the test this weekend and so, while we were driving to the library, I turned around and said, “Kyra, how do you FEEL today?” She pulled up her sunglasses, stared right through me for three or four seconds, gently bit down on her bottom lip and then said, “I feel like purple rocks today.” Theory disproven.

Quick, how do YOU feel today??