Now, as a parent I have discovered that communication with the teacher doesn’t always work. Last year I had an unfortunate experience where feedback was provided to my son’s teacher in a variety of forms. Sadly, the message didn’t get through.

This year my son has a wonderful teacher who is so easy to talk to. She still makes mistakes, and my son still messes up, but being able to communicate with her makes all the difference.

I think even the concern about the “Starbucks” should be brought to the teacher’s attention. As for the mean kindergarten teacher, I would set a preliminary meeting to let the teacher know under what circumstances your child learns best and ask to hear how she meets the needs of the young child. Then you can always go back if you have questions. This would be easier than having the first contact be about a problem. After you keep asking questions she will probably take care around your child (and hopefully others). If not, take it to the principal then the district.

And as for the coffee, I am not opposed to coffee because of religious reason (as your family is), but even so, I am APPALLED that they would give preschoolers coffee… and every day! If my 11 year old came home and said that, I’d pop a blood vessel in my brain. Maybe you’re concerned about saying anything because you don’t want to be ‘that person’. And because it is a religious belief, you’re feeling like your opinions are different than most people’s. But I can tell you (as a liberal, Buddhist parent, who does occasionally visit Starbucks… their Chai tea is way yummy) that it is entirely unacceptable. And most people would find it to be. You just don’t give coffee to kids. (My daughter’s class once had a poetry reading, like at a coffee shop, and they served hot chocolate. Coffee would have been unthinkable.) And also if they’re teaching kids, who have all the energy in the world, that they need coffee to start their day (which is a really unhealthy habit), I would worry what other wonderful life lessons they are passing on.

As for a really mean Kindergarten teacher, I can tell you that your child’s first teacher sets the tone for their entire school career. My daughter had the same kind of teacher (actually one who picked on boys, which really upset my daughter because she is a big believer in playing fair). And I’ll tell you, I would do it differently if I could. In fact, I ended up taking her out of the school in 3rd grade in order to homeschool her. After a couple of years at home, she’s ready to go back to public school, but we’re auditioning schools to find one within a reasonable distance that is good enough. So many people just accept whatever schools and teachers the district decides to offer them and don’t speak up, but you have to keep reminding yourself that these people are in charge of your kid for 6 and a half hours a day. You need to keep your standards high (or at least not let them go too low).

Please don’t worry about being ‘that person’ because administrators usually won’t respond to anyone who isn’t willing to make some noise. You, through your taxes, have hired them to educate your child and it should be a partnership. A partnership with as much transparency as you desire. I think that sometimes, as ex-students ourselves, it is easy to revert to the idea that teachers and principals and even librarians are the ultimate authority figures. Don’t you believe it, though. You are the only authority figure in your child’s life. And, as such, it is your job to stand up to the school and make sure your kid gets the best education possible.

Good luck. I hope it works out for you.

As parents we have a right to raise our children as we see fit, we get the advise of the teachers, and many others during that process, but what we teach them is ultimately up to us, and I would stand up to the teacher, especially if you feel strongly, at the very least with the cocaine issue you should have been informed as well as with the morning kindergarten classroom coffee. At the very least you should have had an oportunity to decline.

I say fight for your rights as a parent.

Do I sound like I have given this a lot of thought? You bet I have! And when I had to take on the school and was told at the supermarket by another mother-”I’m so glad you are doing something about “this”, it’s been going on for so long” I asked, knowing she had an older child who went throught the same school “why wasn’t anything done before?” Because they didn’t want to become a “target”.

It sounds like most on this board are parents of younger children. There are no do-overs, so you have one chance. I’ve been through three states and as many school districts. My daughters are now 19 and 16-and guess what? My eldest is going for her teaching degree. She’s not going to be “that” teacher… Our kids are placed with people for more hours in a week than they are at home with us-if you know something is wrong, why subject them to it? Would you let them go to spend the day with a child molester? No? Then why let them be emotionally or god forbid physically abused?

I’m a little late in the game so I hope you found a resolve. From cocaine to caffeine with a downer of a preschool situation. Wow!

I agree with the other members that adviced looking elsewhere for schooling. The preschool should be concerned with keeping your trust and respect, not the other way around. The cocaine situation saddens me because it is truly a sign of poor leadership at the administration level. As a parent I would be concerned about my kids safety and whether proper communications would be in place if a serious situation would arise.

You are your child’s advocate, and you should expect your school to understand and respect this.

As far as the elementary school goes–you have choices. I know families that have enrolled in alternative schools for a coulpe of years until they deem their child ready to embrace the neighborhood school options. Your public schools are also a choice. Besides you do not have to commit to every or any school you visit and research. Look at it as a “coffee date” not a marriage proposal.

If you still decide to enroll your little girl in the Kindergarten you mention, you will know that this is the best schooling option for her based on other facts your research revealed.

Best of luck!

If you have reason to believe that those *rumors* of a horrifying teacher are true, you need to act on it. My son is now 19, and we’re still dealing with fall-out from a demon teacher when he was in 2nd grade!

If you have options for teachers, request her teacher. (I live in PA, and I’m not sure if it’s state or federal, but if you request it, they have to have a rock-solid reason for NOT honoring it.) If you don’t have that option, is there another school you can start her in? It may be a pain for you, but in the long run, you will NEVER EVER regret being pro-active in her education.

Regardless of where she ends up starting school, the best thing you can do is volunteer IN the school, and attend PTA. Make sure the office personnel, the principal, the guidance department, the teachers KNOW your face, and who you belong to. Even if you can only do a Homeroom parent thing, or volunteer a few hours a week in the office, whatever it is that puts your presence in her school is the single best deterent for bad teacher behavior. And it builds your rep with the staff as a helpful, caring parent, not some shrew who shows up, makes demands and then disappears until the next crisis (not that that’s what you’re doing, but with 3 teachers in our family, I know that’s what being “That Parent” means to them.)

Good luck!

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