Comments on: When you are not instinctively maternal http://www.milehighmamas.com/2008/08/04/maternal/ Denver parenting, with altitude Thu, 09 Feb 2012 02:04:32 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Allie http://www.milehighmamas.com/2008/08/04/maternal/#comment-3430 Allie Tue, 12 Aug 2008 14:00:03 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=466#comment-3430 Like many other posters, I never envisioned myself as a mom. I just never felt the urge or desire to do so. And, honestly, only got pregnant with our first born because we thought that it was what a married couple was supposed to do. Luckily, we received our wake up call immediately when my son arrived 7 weeks early and then it was all over for me. I was completely absorbed in baby fever and decided that I wanted more children and would embrace Motherhood to the fullest. After a few miscarriages and two precious beautiful children, I am constantly wondering if I am really done or not. The bonding to both children happened upon labour and it was a very difficult waiting process to be given my child as I was impatient to stare into their beautiful eyes. Like many other posters, I never envisioned myself as a mom. I just never felt the urge or desire to do so. And, honestly, only got pregnant with our first born because we thought that it was what a married couple was supposed to do. Luckily, we received our wake up call immediately when my son arrived 7 weeks early and then it was all over for me. I was completely absorbed in baby fever and decided that I wanted more children and would embrace Motherhood to the fullest. After a few miscarriages and two precious beautiful children, I am constantly wondering if I am really done or not. The bonding to both children happened upon labour and it was a very difficult waiting process to be given my child as I was impatient to stare into their beautiful eyes.

]]> By: Damselfly http://www.milehighmamas.com/2008/08/04/maternal/#comment-3429 Damselfly Thu, 07 Aug 2008 22:43:28 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=466#comment-3429 Hee hee. Before Fly was born, whenever I'd see a baby being all cute and cuddly, I'd point him or her out to my husband, and he'd say, "Look away! Look away!" I wouldn't have dared try to hold a baby, though. Too tricky. You're right -- that bonding isn't always immediate. Hee hee. Before Fly was born, whenever I’d see a baby being all cute and cuddly, I’d point him or her out to my husband, and he’d say, “Look away! Look away!” I wouldn’t have dared try to hold a baby, though. Too tricky.

You’re right — that bonding isn’t always immediate.

]]> By: White Hot Magik http://www.milehighmamas.com/2008/08/04/maternal/#comment-3428 White Hot Magik Thu, 07 Aug 2008 02:50:03 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=466#comment-3428 Being the oldest child I think my maternal instinct kicked in early, but I wasn't really sure I wanted my own kids. Luckily God got us preggers and then I chose to have another and quite frankly fantasize about another. Working the the little ones has been the bigger challenge but I think it has helped me be a better mom. Being the oldest child I think my maternal instinct kicked in early, but I wasn’t really sure I wanted my own kids. Luckily God got us preggers and then I chose to have another and quite frankly fantasize about another. Working the the little ones has been the bigger challenge but I think it has helped me be a better mom.

]]> By: Erin http://www.milehighmamas.com/2008/08/04/maternal/#comment-3427 Erin Wed, 06 Aug 2008 16:47:37 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=466#comment-3427 Like so many that have commented on here, I knew I wanted to have children. But with my first I feel like I didn't really bond with her, I was so focused on taking care of her and meeting her needs that I forgot to enjoy her. With #2 that was born 20 months later, it was instant and to this day she melts my heart. But I still have trouble with my older child, she is difficult, stubborn and strong willed. Don't get me wrong I love her but sometimes being a mom is just hard. Especially when daddy works a lot of hours. I use to love every ones babies but now after having my own I am not that way. Like so many that have commented on here, I knew I wanted to have children. But with my first I feel like I didn’t really bond with her, I was so focused on taking care of her and meeting her needs that I forgot to enjoy her.

With #2 that was born 20 months later, it was instant and to this day she melts my heart.

But I still have trouble with my older child, she is difficult, stubborn and strong willed. Don’t get me wrong I love her but sometimes being a mom is just hard. Especially when daddy works a lot of hours.

I use to love every ones babies but now after having my own I am not that way.

]]> By: Jody http://www.milehighmamas.com/2008/08/04/maternal/#comment-3426 Jody Wed, 06 Aug 2008 16:19:26 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=466#comment-3426 Gosh Amber, I think I could have written this post! When I met my husband at 21, I told him I didn't want kids. I've never really liked kids that much and was totally absorbed in my career and <i>my</i> selfish little self! Then, as I neared 30 - that biological clock started reeking havoc! It took a while for my to adjust to motherhood the first time around (as I have a male version of your Hurricane!) - but the second child was a joy even during my pregnancy. I still don't really like other people's kids, but I LOVE my own. And, I think I actually want to have a couple more (gasp!)! Pretty strange, considering I was so "anti-baby" just 10 years ago! Good Luck with your baby-making fun! ;) http://milehighmommy.blogspot.com Gosh Amber, I think I could have written this post! When I met my husband at 21, I told him I didn’t want kids. I’ve never really liked kids that much and was totally absorbed in my career and my selfish little self! Then, as I neared 30 – that biological clock started reeking havoc! It took a while for my to adjust to motherhood the first time around (as I have a male version of your Hurricane!) – but the second child was a joy even during my pregnancy. I still don’t really like other people’s kids, but I LOVE my own. And, I think I actually want to have a couple more (gasp!)! Pretty strange, considering I was so “anti-baby” just 10 years ago!
Good Luck with your baby-making fun! ;)

http://milehighmommy.blogspot.com

]]> By: Shannon http://www.milehighmamas.com/2008/08/04/maternal/#comment-3425 Shannon Wed, 06 Aug 2008 03:22:44 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=466#comment-3425 Wow. I can really relate...Not a baby person in the beginning. In fact, my husband changed our first child's first diaper and it just took me so long to warm up. Best of luck to you in your adventure to bring another little one into this world!! So exciting! Wow. I can really relate…Not a baby person in the beginning. In fact, my husband changed our first child’s first diaper and it just took me so long to warm up.

Best of luck to you in your adventure to bring another little one into this world!! So exciting!

]]> By: Guinevere Meadow http://www.milehighmamas.com/2008/08/04/maternal/#comment-3424 Guinevere Meadow Wed, 06 Aug 2008 03:21:47 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=466#comment-3424 It took me a couple weeks to feel that bond. I thought there was something wrong with me! Later I realized I was mildly suffering from post-partum depression, but quickly it went away! Happy baby-making! It took me a couple weeks to feel that bond. I thought there was something wrong with me! Later I realized I was mildly suffering from post-partum depression, but quickly it went away!

Happy baby-making!

]]> By: diana/sunshine http://www.milehighmamas.com/2008/08/04/maternal/#comment-3423 diana/sunshine Tue, 05 Aug 2008 21:18:44 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=466#comment-3423 yes, i bonded instantly with my children. that doesn't mean being a mother to a newborn/infant was always easy. there were some very trying times and i enjoyed them as toddlers much more. i hope that third one comes quickly. and that he or she will be another great experience for you. i can't wait to hear stories of adventures with 3 kids in tow =) www.sunshine-on-my-shoulders.blogspot.com yes, i bonded instantly with my children. that doesn’t mean being a mother to a newborn/infant was always easy. there were some very trying times and i enjoyed them as toddlers much more.

i hope that third one comes quickly. and that he or she will be another great experience for you. i can’t wait to hear stories of adventures with 3 kids in tow =)

http://www.sunshine-on-my-shoulders.blogspot.com

]]> By: Lauri http://www.milehighmamas.com/2008/08/04/maternal/#comment-3422 Lauri Tue, 05 Aug 2008 18:44:15 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=466#comment-3422 I think it me a couple of days to get to know my babies. I think it was easier with some than others. I still have a very hard time being affectionate. It makes me horribly uncomfortable with my older ones for some reason. I have to really be aware of it and fight through it. Make sure I show them lots of affection and make sure they know I love them. I love them so much, but it is hard. I think it me a couple of days to get to know my babies. I think it was easier with some than others.
I still have a very hard time being affectionate. It makes me horribly uncomfortable with my older ones for some reason. I have to really be aware of it and fight through it. Make sure I show them lots of affection and make sure they know I love them.
I love them so much, but it is hard.

]]> By: Lauren http://www.milehighmamas.com/2008/08/04/maternal/#comment-3421 Lauren Tue, 05 Aug 2008 18:19:01 +0000 http://www.milehighmamas.com/?p=466#comment-3421 I love the way you described the baby that you held at church. I want a baby with, "sumo arms" and delightful, "burgeoning cheeks". My maternal instinct has sharpened since reading your post. You are such a fabulous writer! I love the way you described the baby that you held at church. I want a baby with, “sumo arms” and delightful, “burgeoning cheeks”.

My maternal instinct has sharpened since reading your post. You are such a fabulous writer!

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