How a lemon car can teach you that your marriage needs more spice
We bought a brand spankin’ new car last week.
Before you send your congratulations, know that this was like those “Oops!” pregnancies and our purchase was unplanned. I am not quite sure how it happened; I wasn’t even ovulating at the time.
From the moment of conception purchase a few years ago, we have had problems with my husband Jamie’s Jetta. But the past month has been a non-stop stream of breakdowns. The car, not me. Mostly.
We had planned to trade it in next year but we were stressed about all the nickles, dimes and dollars we were pouring into its repairs. The worst part of all is the mechanic could not ascertain the problem.
And so we had a tough decision: sustenance for the children or a new car.
Please send food.
I have never made a huge decision so quickly. Well, with the exception of buying the first wedding dress I tried on and oh, can you please throw in that cute veil ASAP because I am late for my volleyball game? Or the fact that I was married within six months of meeting Jamie.
He gives me a hard time about the deluge of children’s items that flood my SUV but nothing could have prepared me for what we discovered when we cleaned out his car.
One could expect some fast-food wrappers.
Several discarded Google maps.
Or maybe a rotting food item…or twelve.
But what Jamie unearthed in the catacombs of his trunk rocked me to my core: an illustrated book entitled The Joy of Sensual Massage.
After drowning in a stupor of silence, I finally sputtered,
“Who gave you this this this this this PORNOGRAPHY?”
“You did. When we got married.”
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hahahaha! you’re a hoot, kathleen
That is awesome!!
At least he kept the book? My question is this: have you been the beneficiary of him keeping the book? Now THAT would be cool. If not, make him read it. Right. Now. :)
Lol! I agree with Cheryl, you need to make his read it and practice it on you.
hmmmm…I used to have that book too. Where did it go in 15 years of marriage?
Seriously. Where did it go? My boys are getting a little old for leaving something like that around.
ROFL!!!
I can’t believe that such a treasure was sitting there, completely useless for so long! :)
That’s pretty darn funny! Oh, the things we “used” to do. The things we loose after diapers and a few years of marriage. Our poor poor husbands.
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In the back seat of Jetta?
You two must be verrrrry flexible.
(Or used to be.)
…hmmmm, well… I guess he gets credit for still having it! :)
Now for putting it to use!!!
love it!
LOL! Maybe I should have our cars cleaned out …who knows!
I would tell him it is time to put that book to use. Long time no see Amber. Missed your funniness. I need to get back on the blogging wagon. ; )
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Okay second try…. The real question is why he isn’t putting the knowledge in that book to good use. Couldn’t you use a massage?
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Too funny! The only thing I will find in Don’s car is the tool I gave him for Christmas that allows him to break the window should he ever find himself submerged in water and unable to open the door. You just never know. (His car is spotless)
That is SO funny! What did you end up doing with the book? You’re a great writer!
:) Oh dear. That is too funny.
Some things are just meant to be found!
Oh my goodness! That is hilarious!!!! Congrats on the new car…hope y’all continue to eat!
Personally, I’d hook the man up to a lie detector and start asking questions! (Unless you clearly remember the gifting, in which case, you owe him a …you know, a…, I really don’t even want to say the words, but you owe him .…
an apology
OH that is hilarious!! You little sex kitten ;)
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Oh my goodness that is toooo funny!!! How things change??? He he he!!
I hate those unexpected expensive purchases too! Hopefully, your new car will be as good a choice as I’m assuming your wedding dress and Jamie was!
We got married after just knowing each other for 7 months – pretty similar to you guys. And now 5 kids and almost 15 years later, here we still are and it’s great!!
LOL!
And yet another reason why I will never buy a VW Jetta or Passat.
Oh my.
So what kind of car did you get? I’m a Nissan kind of girl myself. That’s so funny, though. I made Joe read a similar sort of book before we were married. I should probably make him read it again.
Your blog is a pleasure to read!! Such a good writer.
There should be a warning with this post.
So that readers who have just sipped their morning beverage will not spew it on the computer screen!
I am just saying.
Thanks everyone for your fun comments. :-) As far as our new car, we bought a 2009 Toyota Camry. I joked with Jamie that it looks like an old man’s car and he retorted, “Well, at least a middle-aged man’s car.”