At the risk of sounding like Jerry Seinfeld, what’s the deal with trucks?

I realize that I’m practically inviting hate mail by posting this here at Mile High Mamas, where I’d bet more than two-thirds of our audience owns a truck, but it’s been a while since I stirred the pot, so I figured it might be fun for all of us to scuffle over the merits – and demerits – of driving a truck.

If your line of work requires you to haul stuff in the bed of your truck on a daily basis, that’s one thing. But if you drive a truck because you think it makes you look like a honky tonk bada**, then I can’t help but snicker at you.

Trucks aren’t quite as off-putting to me as motorcycles with those decals of naked ladies in silhouette. You plaster those on your ride, and you are setting yourself up for failure – practically guaranteeing that no chick will ever wrap her arms around your waist and press her cheek to your back. Sorry to break it to you.

But trucks do run a close second (and they’re right on par if you’ve installed naked lady mudflaps). Simply put, they’re a waste of space. Since most people don’t use the truck bed on a daily basis, they’re hauling around a lot of extra vehicle weight unnecessarily. The extra space is in the truck bed, where no one – not even a dog – ought to be riding. They’re just plain illogical for both families and single people.

I’ll admit that I know a few women who drive trucks – one in particular who really is a total bada** – and their trucks suit them. Likewise, I dated a couple guys who drove trucks – but both of those trucks were so comical that I knew they weren’t using them to compensate for other shortcomings (ahem). One truck was a monstrous old clunker, and the other was nearly the size of a fire engine. These guys were laughing right along with everyone else at their crazy trucks.

I did date another truck-driving guy who illustrated perfectly the type I’m describing here. He thought his little truck was so cool, but I never saw him put anything other than his backpack in the bed. Plus, he listened to country music all the time. It embarrasses me just to think about riding shotgun with him.

Because that’s really the crux of my objections. Apart from the illogic of driving a big old truck just to carry yourself (and maybe your backpack), trucks in and of themselves aren’t unattractive. The right guy can look pretty cool behind the wheel of a truck. I guess the problem for me is that I don’t want to be the girl sitting next to him.

Good thing my husband used to drive a Miata, eh?