Grieving Children Unite at Judi’s House
Every once and a while, I come across an organization whose mission really hits home. That is what Judi’s House did for me.
This non-profit caters to the often-overlooked children in society: those who are grieving. When my best friend was 13 years old, her mother died. There were no resources to help her cope and today, she still struggles with her loss.
There are currently 1.5 million kids under the age of 18 who are coping with the death of a parent and that doesnât include siblings, aunts, uncles, friends, etc. That is why I applaud Judi’s House and particularly their Outward Bound program, which brings these children together to heal. I recently had a Q&A with Judi’s House Director of Development, Anthony Hodes, and Outreach and Education Manager Jason Stout who shared some incredible experiences.
Tell us about Judi’s House and how it was conceived.
While still Quarterback for the Denver Broncos, Brian Griese began to explore ways that he could help grieving children. His interest in this issue grew out of his own experiences growing up as his mother, Judith Ann Griese, died when he was 12 year old. While he had support from others in his family during this time, he still felt alone and as if other kids did not or could not understand what it was like for him. He made a commitment that if he had the means some day that he would do something to help other grieving kids.
In 2001 he began to explore what services there were for grieving children in the Denver metro area and this exploration revealed that while there were more than 40,000 children that would lose a parent, sibling or other loved one in the area, there was no program specifically for these bereaved children. In November of 2002, Judiâs House opened its doors to offer peer based grief support to grieving children 3-18. Since that time, Judiâs House has served more than 2,000 bereaved children and their adult caregivers.
What other resources do you provide for grieving children and teens?
The heart of our programs is the peer-based grief support groups that we offer for both English- and Spanish-speaking youth and children. These groups are facilitated by masterâs level counselors with the support of trained volunteers and the groups are broken up based on age groups including preschool, grade school, middle school and teens. The parents and adult caregivers are also offered support groups.
As a part of the groups, the youth and children use talking circles, art activities, play therapy activities, music and other experiential based exercises to identify and express their feelings, to explore giving and receiving support, and to grieve in their own way at their own pace.
Jason – What is Heroic Journey?
Heroic Journey is a unique experience funded by Judiâs House, offered through Outward Bound, and is specifically designed for teens coping with the death of a loved one. It is not intended to be âcounselingâ? or âtherapyâ?. It is about teens connecting and building supportive relationships with other teens going through similar challenges in life. At its essence, it is wilderness adventure sprinkled with light grief work activities.
The challenges and successes that come with climbing, rappelling, and hiking up mountains, are metaphors for life and the kids get it. By adding some grief related rituals, and ceremonies that appeal to the teens, they are moved to express themselves in ways that the typically canât, or wonât, when they are back at home in their everyday surroundings.
The idea for the program began three years ago when two other Judiâs House staff and I accompanied a group of seven teens from Judiâs House on an Outward Bound course. At the time, I was an Outward Bound employee and volunteering in my spare time at Judiâs House. This idea for this course was inspired by my own death loss experiences and my passion for Outward Bound and wilderness adventure.
The first two years were deemed a huge success by the professional staff at Judiâs House and more importantly by the families. So much so, that Brian Griese agreed to help me make this available to grieving kids from throughout the Denver Metro area, Colorado, and the United States. By next week we will most likely have 125 kids enrolled and more on our waitlist. Griese has been tirelessly fundraising $150,000 to pay for the program and insists on providing all of the kids with full-tuition scholarships.
Because of the combined effort of all involved, 125 grieving teens, from all over the United States, are coming to Colorado to discover their inner strength, face their fears, and experience the support of other kids dealing with the death of a loved one. Teens that have had a parent, sibling, friend, or family member die, from cancer, heart disease, auto crash, homicide, suicide, etc. will spend 7 days in the Rocky Mountains, climbing, rappelling, swinging from trees, and ascending a 14,000 foot peak.
Jason – What is a memorable experience you have had on Heroic Journey?
One night, camping on the Yampa River, we sat in a big circle. As the sun went down we passed the large âsacred bowlâ? around for the “Water Ceremony.” The sacred bowl was filled with âmystical waterâ? and a âmagical ladleâ?. As we passed it around, each person would take a scoop of water, and then pour it into a smaller sacred bowl. As we all poured the water with the magical ladle, we were to share a message to our loved ones. âDad, I miss going to Coors Field with you and watching the Rockies playâ?. âMom, I miss the smell of French toast in the houseâ?. âIâm sorry I was mean to youâ?, âDad, thank you for giving me your sense of humor. I miss your sense of humor.â?
It was a powerful activity and more than half of us were crying. Once we all shared our messages, one of the teens grabbed the sacred bowl, now filled with messages, and poured it into the mighty Yampa River. The messages were then released to meander through the mountains and desert until they met the ocean, and there the messages would be delivered to the people we lost. After the water was gently poured into the river, the teens gathered on the sandy bank, and stood shoulder to shoulder, in silence, as the sun went down watching their messages mix with the waters of the Yampa. Minutes later, the water of their tears turned to laughter and smiles. For some it was the first time we had ever seen a sigh of happiness. The power of wilderness, being with people who share our pain and a good grief activity can make a world of difference in a kid who is suffering.
How can members of the community help support Judi’s House?
o Visit our website to learn more about grieving children at www.JudisHouse.org
o Commit to a monthly, quarterly or annual ongoing donation to help assure that these services can continue to be offered to bereaved children.
o Volunteer as a nutrition provider who will prepare a meal weekly or monthly for the families that come to Judiâs House
o Volunteer to become a group facilitator
o Attend on of our upcoming events
o Tell others about Judiâs House
Editor’s Note: On May 20th, author Ann Hood will be at the Tattered Cover on Colfax at 7:30 p.m. for a talk and book signing of her book, Comfort: A Journey Through Grief. 10% of the sale of books that night will go to support Judiâs House.
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