FINALLY: The Way to Every Man’s Heart is Revealed!
It is currently my husband Jamie’s basketball season and every year, I dread it. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not one of those overbearing women who doesn’t let her husband do anything fun. It’s just there’s something else factored in there: near-death experiences. You see, when Jamie played in the past, he was almost always rushed to the ER with a heart arrhythmia.
He has had a long history with his heart. Shortly after we got married, Jamie’s dad found an old video tape of Jamie playing basketball in high school. He eagerly watched the footage and proudly announced: “Do you see me out there?” Thinking he was trying to show off to his new bride, I scanned the floor, looking for his sexy high-school chicken legs but couldn’t find him. Finally, he let me in on the suspense, pointing to a guy passed out in front of the bench: “There – that’s me having an arrhythmia after playing!” Gee. I couldn’t have been more proud.
During the first few years of our marriage, his heart seemed to get increasingly worse. When I was pregnant with my firstborn, he nearly passed out after a game and we had to call an ambulance for him. His resting heart-rate? A whopping 210. He had a repeat performance the following year, only this time Haddie was able to accompany us to the ER. She had just learned to wave and spent the duration spreading good cheer to all the ER patients. I’m sure she thought it was “Wude” that none of them waved back. Go figure.
After that last episode, he finally caved and went to see a heart specialist – one who wasn’t part of the “Just let your husband play basketball and quit nagging him club,” like the first doctor he saw. This guy recommended an out-patient surgery, which Jamie opted for versus his other option: never playing basketball again.
The surgery was pretty non-invasive. Basically, they went into his heart via four arteries (two in his groin) and simply burned out the bad cells that were causing the arrhythmia.
His recovery was smooth, minus a grotesque and painful bruise he had on his groin for a long time. One day during this process, my dear, sweet husband said to me, “This surgery actually confirmed what we have long suspected about men.” I eagerly awaited profundities and I got ‘em with his mischievous answer:
“The Way to a Man’s Heart is Through His Groin.”
At least now it can be medically proven….
Ha! That is too funny!!
I’m glad his condition was fixable. What a relief.
How’s the job situation going, btw??
Heidi
AAHHH!!! I have that too. And I did the oblation and it FAILED! Yes, I’m a failure….have you not figured that out about me? And I’m a quitter too – in case you didn’t know – because I refuse to take the meds as they make me feel fuzzy. I would rather be a heart racing quitter who fails a lot than walk around with my head in the clouds – not much of a view!!!!
Laughing out Loud in AR!!
Funny how long it took him to get it check out, OR NOT!
That is just too hilarious! I’m glad it all worked out!
I am so glad that his surgery has proven MEDICALLY what we all suspected organically, all along.
got a chuckle out of you scanning the video for his chicken legs. tee hee
So funny! I was wondering….
Well… it also goes on to prove that women are always right, because we’ve always known that!
I hope he is doing better…. sounds kind of scary. I’m guessing the surgery worked??
I am surprised that it took them so long to fix that, especially since it was a relatively non invasive procedure. I am glad that it worked.
It’s about time they admit it!!
You know? Jamie could totally start his own greeting card and Tshirt business.
That’s hilarious! At least he’s honest!
Ha….what a great line!
I knew it!
I’m a canuck too – how is it I never found your blog before?
Ha! That IS funny.
And true.
Melody http://scooterm74.blogspot.com
Ha! Yes…we’ve suspected that a long time! lol
Is this the first year he will play since the surgery? I hope he takes it “easy.”
By the way, I was at a “bar,” meaning a cafe yesterday and I saw a girl who looked just like you. Actually, I had to look twice, then I thought…surely if Amber was in CALABRIA, she’d have mentioned it!
Lmbo Amber!
lol… yep, that sounds like any typical male.
the heart thing would be so scary. do they think it’s all taken care of now so you don’t have to worry while he’s playing?
You’re way to clever
Don’t think I would have ever pulled that conclusion!
I thought everyone knew that, but were afraid to say it! Hope it’s all better.
You have NO idea how much I needed that today! Giggle, giggle, laugh, snort, guffaws!
ha ha. isn’t it true?
You should have seen that one coming from a mile away.
Ah Jamie, he never dissapoints =)
I’m glad he’s feeling better AND playing basketball.
makes sense to me…
Sooooo, that’s why men act like they’re having a heart attack when you kick them in the groin.
A-Ha!
Amen!
I guess we should not be surprised!!!
Glad he hasn’t had any problems.