In preparation for having children, I devoured books about how to take care of diaper rash. How to check for signs of dehydration. How to administer CPR on an infant. Once the children arrived and I felt like I’d mastered infancy, I sought out the books that discussed things like “how to raise confident girls” and “self-disciplined children.” Before I knew it, I was needing literature on “how to talk about sex with your adolescent.”
But here’s something that nobody tells you before you bring children into this world. It helps to learn “how to be fast on your feet.” And I don’t mean when working the dance floor. It doesn’t matter if I’m dealing with a child, a customer, or that rude lady waiting behind me at the checkout counter, I’m always three days late with a quick answer that puts a stop to the conversation that needs to be stopped. And, 99 percent of the time, three days is just too long. I have yet to meet the person who appreciates the phone call that starts with, “And this is what I MEANT to say to you three days ago!”
My ten-year-old daughter came home from school last week and asked me if it would be OK for her to start shaving her legs. I simply said NO. And maybe that should have been the end of it. But when she asked why, it would have been nice if I had prepared a succinct answer that went,”Because *fill in the blank here with a great parable, metaphor, or analogy* The End. “But I wasn’t ready. In my defense, I didn’t think the shaving question was going to happen for, like, another three YEARS. And so, like so many other times, she caught me unaware and the best answer I could come up with was, Read on …


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