What kind of kid were you?
Aimee and Catherine recently wrote great posts about bullying and the subject seems to be everywhere in the media. I am always dismayed whenever I hear about it as my heart goes out to the victims and my wrath to the aggressors.
Until I remember my childhood.
Now, I wouldn’t say I was a full-on bully but I was most certainly bossy. I have recollections of making my friends spend hours on my trampoline, drilling them until they performed their acrobatics to perfection.
It is a good thing I did not know the trampoline would someday become an Olympic sport. Otherwise, I would still have them in training.
Despite my despotic tendencies, I still remain close to my tight-knit group of neighborhood friends. But there was one little girl – Jennifer Degenstein – who lived behind my house that I have never forgotten. I had no reason not to like her. She was sweet, cute and shy. But I decided early on that she would have no part in our posse and would tease her to no end about her last name. Never mind that mine was Borowski, which instilled dread in the heart of every new teacher reading the class roll.
Evidently, I was rude but not rational.
On another occasion, I remember the war my friends and I waged against the girls in our neighboring hood (not to be confused with neighborhood because that is just not as cool). It was the very vilest of debates: who had the best kindergarten class. We were in the morning class. They were afternoon folk.
Back and forth, the barbs flew. “Oh yeah, well we have Phillip Cutler in our class and he’s cute.” “Well, the afternoon snacks are stale and yucky from sitting out all day.”
Yep, it got nasty.
We were on equal ground until Rachel – an afternooner – spoke up. And in the days long before VCRs and DVRS, she inflicted the final blow:
“Well, we get to stay home and watch SESAME STREET while you’re stuck at school.”
It was the only battle I ever lost.
Enough of my confessional: what kind of kid were you?
I am the mother of 5 grown children, have 4 grandchildren and live in Utah, so I don’t really qualify for your Mile High Mamas Club, but I couldn’t help be comment. (Especially because I know the real low down on sweet Amber [Borowski] Johnson, as she was a student employee of mine while she attended college). I was little miss “always do what’s right” so when I was hauled into the principal’s office my first day of 1st grade, I was mortified! And what was my crime? I had carved (with a safey pin) my name in my desk–after all, it was MY desk and would always be MY desk forever and ever, so what’s the big deal if I let the whole world know it? Obviously, after being told the horrible truth, I was devastated, but managed to make it through the rest of 1st grade. (Does this mean I have a police record?)
I was a pathetic little pleaser. Always wanting to be liked and included, but I was not dorky or ugly or goofy looking. I was smart and kind of cute, just too agreeable. Teachers loved me and I rarelly got in trouble at school. I was small – still only 5’1″ today – so junior high was REALLY hard when I was still shopping in the kids section and wearing kid shoes while all my peers were wearing Guess and Esprit at the time. That was also before the little girl clothing sections looked like something out of an adult men’s magazine. My first trip to the juniors section was back-to-school shopping the month before my freshman year in high school.
KEEP BELIEVING
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I’m not in Denver, but I came here from Amber’s blog, and I can’t resist chiming in, as I am a fellow “Bossyboots” as my Husband says. When we played school, I was always Teacher (a “you can too take away 5 from 4!” said tauntingly to my little sister kind of teacher). When we played house, I’m the one who said, “Be quiet, you don’t get to decide when it’s Morning Time, you’re the baby.” Only I could announce “ding-a-ling-a-ling, MOR-ning!”
The one I still regret, though, is daring the neighbor girl to jump into the fire ant hill at the top of our driveway. These hills are huge (18″ across, twice as deep, at least) and filled with swarming, stinging ants. She jumped. I got spanked. At the time, I was disgruntled beyond belief: all I’d done was suggest it. SHE was the one dumb enough to do it. Why should I be punished?
I was a shy, straight-A student in school. But at home, BOSSYBOOTS ruled the roost.
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So fun to hear about your sordid pasts. Keep ‘em coming, ladies!
And yes, Patty I am sure your crime is still on record.
Ah, yes… those fond memories of elementary school. I remember quite clearly one day in third grade sitting on top of a fence with my girl posse and we were playing a makebelieve game of “shoot at the boys” who were sitting in a big tractor tire across the playground. Little “Abbey Flatface” asked to join us, and was quickly put in her place – so she sat there in the dirt alone in the middle of the playground drawing lines with her finger until we were called inside.
This is a moment I am not proud of, and I would love to see Abbey today to applogize. I wonder if she remembers…
I was a good, quiet kid but I had this weird desire to prove to myself that I was tough. I wasn’t happy until I was successful at pinning each of my older sisters to the ground. I would pull my own hair, to toughen up my scalp just in case one of the neighbor boys decided to try and make me cry. I also loved gross stuff. My older sister and I would disect dead mice that the cat killed, I had a squished spider collection on paper. And, believe it or not, I grew up to be a normal,well adjusted adult.
I was the perfect child. That’s about covers it. No need to verify that with anyone.
I was a bit of a bully myself. I think back upon some of the folks I pushed around and feel so badly!
These are great! And Mitch – I don’t believe it for a moment.
hi amber,
thanks for coming by. i love it everytime you do.
even when you are being bossy, you are totally adorable.
i was a really shy kid and did not get more outgoing until i left home at 18. now, i have too many friends. i mean, i am grateful for all i have in my life, but there is not enough time to spend adequately on each of the people i enjoy.
blessings this day hon,
kathleen xoxo
ps. you rock hon!
it makes “choosing” your time with those you enjoy even sweeter.
After reading that, I’m not sure if we would have been friends. Mainly because I was bossy, too!
Yes, but we could have ruled the world together, Eva.
Ah, I was bossy AND a goodie-goodie. What a horrible combination. I don’t think I bullied, at least, I hope I didn’t. Oh jeez. Did I?!
I remember that I loved Nancy Drew and “Remington Steele.” I was always Nancy Drew. My friend was always George, Nancy’s poorly named female friend. She never complained about that, although I did see a twinge of jealousy when the pretty neighbor girl always insisted on being Laura from “Remington Steele.” That meant that Misty always played either someone named George or the Pierce Brosnan character.
It became a bit confusing when Nancy Drew would do a guest appearance on “Remington Steele,” which meant that Misty had to keep switching from one character to another.
I hope we didn’t scar her for life or mess up her sexual identity.
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I was a tough kid. So tough I gave birth to a kid just like me.
P.S. I think my mother calls it payback.
Ditto on that, Candace. My payback was my beloved firstborn.
My name is Jennifer Degenstein but I don’t think that was me you bullied
Great post–very funny. I love the Sesame Street comeback. I was extremely shy wall flower type, and was pretty much that way until adulthood.