Parenting Experiment #106: The Garbage Bag Treatment
The Subjects: My ungrateful twin boys; ages 8.
The Hypothesis: Putting the twins’ belongings in garbage bags will inspire them to take better care of their things.
The Experiment: The Garbage Bag Treatment was a tactic that was successfully utilized by my own parents. If I came home from school to find my room empty and six black bags out in the driveway, I knew I had pushed them too far. The other night I carried on the grand family tradition.
After asking my boys several times to clean their room, they still just sat there in their mess watching TV. There was no yelling (on my part) no corporal punishment; just one mother who had had enough! I grabbed a couple of black garbage bags and picked up everything on the floor and put it in the bag, as they watched. I finally had their attention.
There was weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth! At this point I almost wilted. The terror in their eyes as I was tossing video games, Beyblades and Pokemon cards in the bag was almost too much for me to bear. But, I did not relent. I wanted to make an impact. I needed them to remember this for a long time.
I calmly told the boys that since they didn’t care enough about their things, I was going to throw them out. If they were going to treat their toys like trash, their toys were going in the trash. Then, with trash bag in hand, I walked out and shut the door.
I let them stew in their misery for a few minutes. I made sure they heard me come in and out of the garage as if I was actually throwing their belongings away. Then, for more impact, I went in and lectured them again.
After about a half an hour, I returned to their room and told the boys that they are very lucky to have a mom that believes in second chances. I wouldn’t put their toys out on the curb – yet. I would give them the opportunity to earn their stuff back.
Over the next few days the boys earned back half the contents of the bag by doing extra chores. They lost interest in the other half. I sorted through the bag one last time. I gave some to a local thrift store and the rest eventually did end up in the trash.
The Conclusion: The Garbage Bag Treatment is effective in creating heightened awareness in my children regarding the care of their belongings. It is even more effective when carried out at least twice year. Or more if you want a really clean house.
Scientifically Yours,
Annie Payne
Experimenting on my kids since 1998, so you don’t have to
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What an amazing experiment! I too would have been in danger of wilting upon seeing the “deer in the headlights” look in their eyes! Good for you! :D
Hard A$$, but effective.
I’ve tried this, maybe I need to be a little more hard nosed. My girls (must be a twin thing) just looked at me like, “Mom we are still not picking up our toys, you are!” I can’t wait until they are teenagers….
Firm believer in this method. I have used it with regularity. Notice I didn’t say frequency. Ya only have to do it a couple times :)
I also employ the “while they’re at school they won’t see me tossing out the happy meal-y type junk” method, which does help tone down some clutter. If I haven’t seen it played with in a year it has probably been grown out of.
Here’s my 25 cents.
I did this with my boys. VERY effective. I need to do this with my girls. Probably more effective. Will likely do this next week when hubs is home to help.
I charge them 25 cents to get an item back. They have to do extra chores above and beyond the daily chores to earn money. Oh, and if the daily chores aren’t done- don’t even ask for extra.
Thank you for the reminder Annie. I very much needed it.
I didn’t know you were such a wonderful organizer. Could you come over to my house and clean out my boys’ rooms too?
Tradition! Tradition!! TRADITION!!!!
Family traditions morf as they are passed down thru generations of time. My father put my brother Henry in a black trash bag and gave his toys to me. At first I missed Henry but I got over it and learned to love his toys.
You were a whimp, you should have bagged one of the twins and given his toys to the other. Instead you morfed the plan.
I’ve done it and I love it!!! My kids are MUCH better about cleaning their rooms now. I usually anounce on a Sunday afternoon that on Tuesday (my day off) I will be cleaning rooms with a trash bag and anything that is not trash should be returned to it’s rightful place.
Although…Big Rich might be onto something … but I think your way is quite the thing.
LOL @ Big Rich.
At this point I almost wilted…. You good good woman, a mama has to do what a mama has to do. Bad ashed and all.
Rock on Annie!
Loved this one…. I am totally in.
Truly brilliant.
“After about a half an hour, I returned to their room and told the boys that they are very lucky to have a mom that believes in second chances” was my favorite part. LOL!!!
Well, I think my plans for Monday are set. :)
I have done this with my kids at various times, but if you do it too often, they become desensitized. “That’s okay, I don’t really want those toys anyway.” Grrr. Currently with my 8yo, we are doing the “if you can keep your room clean every day for two weeks, you get a Littlest Pet Shop toy.” It’s working like a dream. The only problem is, we can’t keep rewarding her for keeping her room clean, so this is a once-in-a-blue-moon type of thing. Don’t know what I’m gonna do after the 2nd week is over. What kills me is, it’s SO EASY for her to keep her room clean — if she wants to.
Hey, now there’s an idea. I don’t know how many times I have to sit in my sons room, and show him how to organize before it actually clicks for him.
LOL@Big Rich
Sounds like a great solution. I loved the “second chance” comment.
I’ve done that “put any left out toys in a basket for a week” but due to the over abundance of toys it just didn’t work
the whole room is an intriguing idea…….
I’ve done the same thing before. In fact, there is enough stuff in my garage right now to fill a truck bed! I really need to find the time to actually take it to the charity it’s intended for.
Annie is Fruita’s hottest ‘Bag Lady!’
My mom used to do this with me all the time, because her mom used to do it to her all the time.
Family: Isn’t it about passing on slob-stopping tactics?
Parenting 101: Thou shalt not wilt.
AMEN, Annie!