The Kid Blender:  A Single Mom’s Attempt to Find Joy in an Unexpected Life
February 8, 2012 – 8:00 am | 3 Comments

In this series of blogs, the “Kid Blenders,” I will be addressing our challenges, trying to blend our two families together. The names of the children will be changed to spare the easily embarrassed. And let me be upfront about this: I’m no clinical expert. I’m just a single mom trying to figure life out as I go. But knowing that there are around 14 million single parents out there…I’m guessing that I’m not alone in this venture.

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Home » Humor

The Many Titles of Mom

Submitted by on September 11, 2007 – 6:15 amNo Comment

As I think about my busy life as a mother of three kids and all that a mom has to do to keep the ball rolling, I realize moms have so many titles. There are the regular ones such as Mom the Cook. Mom the Nurse. Mom the Teacher and Mom the Chauffeur.

There are also little known or underappreciated titles, and there are some titles that shouldn’t be used at all.

Mom the Comedian

This title was inspired by a conversation I had one morning with my 6-year-old daughter, whom I lovingly refer to as Mini Me.

Me: Mini Me, go upstairs, brush your teeth, then take off your pajamas and get in the bathtub.
Mini Me: Can I take off my pajamas before I brush my teeth?
Me: No.
Mini Me: Why not?
Me: Because you might have a horrible toothbrushing accident and get your toothbrush stuck in your bellybutton.
Mini Me: (wild laughter)

Mom the Pragmatist

My Boys: Mom, we need clean socks for P.E.
Me: What do you mean? You have clean socks.
My Boys: We are taking off our shoes in P.E. to play on the mats and the P.E. teacher says we all need to wear clean socks.
Me: Your socks are clean.
My Boys: They still look dirty on the bottom.
Me: Then wear your brown church socks and nobody will be able to tell the difference.

Mom the Blogger

Aside from Mile High Mamas, I have a personal blog that I write for daily. I recently asked my readers what are some of their “mom titles.” Their responses ran the gamut!

Mom the Fun Squisher. The fun stops here.
Mom the Purveyor of Ancient Chinese Laundry Secrets. Grass stains don’t stand a chance against this mom’s super secret combination of stain sticks and scrubbing techniques.
Mom the Oracle. This title is for the mom who has an answer for every “why not” and “how come.”
The Mamarazzi. This one goes to the mom who is ready with the camera for her child’s every accomplishment, no matter how small.
My personal favorite, Mom the Human Kleenex. This reader commented that despite the fact that she had four boxes of tissue strategically placed around her home, her children’s snot still managed to make its slimy way onto her.

Whatever your “mom titles” may be, the one your child will someday appreciate the most is Mom the Ever-Present.

Hats off to all you multitasking moms out there. So when you are busy making appointments, settling fights and stirring the stew, don’t forget to pat yourself on the back.





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