On Becoming Three
My husband Bryan and I never thought we would have kids. Seriously. Never.
I never babysat, was never was good with children – never had that “spark” so many people have that make children simply adhere themselves as if they were a giant felt board.
In 2000, we had a large family reunion in Germany. Everyone from my side of the family convened to celebrate not only my great aunt’s 80th birthday, but also the baptism of my cousin’s children (then aged 6 and 3) in the old, ornate family church that sat so serenely up the hill in the tiny town my mother used to call home. Bryan and I were to become the esteemed godparents.
We checked, of course, to make sure the requirements were not, in fact, that we actually be responsible for these children. I mean, what was my cousin thinking, anyway?
But as the time in Germany unfolded, and we spent real time with these really wonderful children… Bryan and I looked at each other and thought for the first time… “What if?” What if we opened ourselves to the experience? Where would it lead us? Who would we become on the other end?
We came back from Germany thinking.
That year we also bought a new home. A modest home in a near downtown Denver neighborhood, but our first “real” home. We moved in and started looking around. Starting feeling the possibilities. The space. (OK, not all that much space – it *is* an urban Denver neighborhood, after all). But somehow this house had become a home we could raise a child in.
We kept our thoughts to ourselves. I mean, it had taken me years to convince my mother she was out of luck in the grandchild department, I didn’t want to undo all that work unless we were really sure. And I wanted to be really sure about this kid thing.
So we percolated. For a whole year. (I’m a slow thinker.)
And we decided we were ready. We were thrilled. We were terrified. I was reading everything I could get my hands on to prepare. Because those of us who have never babysat have NO IDEA what to do with children.
The best part was telling my mother and watching the shock and awe spread over her face.
And here’s the funny thing about life. You think you’ve got it all figured out, ready to go great guns after this kid thing, and a business opportunity of epic proportions lands right in your lap. Could I really start a web development company *and* have a baby at the same time?
This is where we stopped thinking and just followed gut instinct.
It’s been a wild ride thus far… but equally rewarding.
And one thing I know for sure: My cousin *did* know exactly what she was doing.
My husband and I waited 10 years after getting married, focusing on careers and travel and going out. We knew we could have a great life without kids, and we were very tempted by that. But two weeks after our 10th anniversary we had our daughter.
She is two now, and so amazing. Her sister is due in December.
I’m definitely glad we waited, although I won’t be the cool, young mom that I had. But I’m also incredibly happy we took the plunge.
As one of your oldest friends, I for one am so happy you made the decision, especially since ours are now so close in age
Love that story.
Congrats on the new site, Aimee. It looks like lots of fun.
I’m glad you decided to take the plunge. Little boys rock!
What a GREAT “How I came to be” story for Declan to hear someday!
It’s very cool getting to know you better, Aimee.
Perfect.
I am so glad you guys did it
. I always knew you would be wonderful parents, and yes, even without the whole babysitting experience stuff for you. I don’t believe I knew this story and how it changed your lifes. It makes me feel all warm and tingly.
That’s a lovely story. Thanks for sharing and I love this site!
It’s nice to know that some people actually plan to have children nowadays.
This is a neat site! I am glad I found it. And this is a very nice story on finding your way to being a mom.
What a wonderful story!
Love this story. Loved finding this site.
My husband and I were NEVER going to have kids, either. That was a detail we hammered out prior to getting married. Then my nephew was born and I went all squishy. The same week I found out I was pregnant, I got the job offer I’d waited my whole life for. The day I went into labor at that job, was the last day I worked. 4 years and 2 kids later, I couldn’t be happier!
Keep up the great site, ladies!
Speaking from the other side, I never wanted kids and never had them, even tho 2 failed bc episodes resulted in pregnancy.
Just as you are thrilled with your decisions, I am thrilled with my decision to remain childfree.
Kath, I am big believer that whatever size works for each family is absolutely the right size!
And welcome everyone! Thank you for the very kind words!